I said to myself, "could it.....be........that...?"....., but then I just shook my head and kept mining White Sapphires about 5000ft up a famous local mountain. I tried to assure myself that the SD and ND related stuff was behind me....... .
I got home, tasting sad tears (!!?!!!?!!?!!) within the atmosphere of my previously happiness filled and shining sanctuary.....(!??!!!?!!?!). I went to bed..... .
Waking up this morning and lounging in my mountain view room, I...., and I do not know how this could even be remotely possible, noted an apparition (!!??!!) at my left O_O in the dining room entrance.... . The apparition watched over me as a sensation of tears and sadness washed through the area.... . (*Gulps*). (*Sighs*). The apparition walked to my mountain view window with arms folded (*feels an eerie sensation to my right cheek as I type*)...., and then....(????!!!????) tearfully retreated back to the dining room area........ .
I sat in shock for a while...... . 5'4...5'5..., brown hair..... . *Facepalms*. How could I have noted The Below Gravity author in my house??? This place has so much cosmic energy and defensive barriers around it.....(*shakes my head*). How could this have happened???? Maybe I am just tired after all that driving and moving stuff........ . I mean, was this journal read by that author yesterday????
*Sighs and puts on a rainy day track for this rainy and chilly day*.... .
Well, the prior message was written as objectively as I could write it. Did.....(*blinks*)..., did the BG author want to stay here O_O......?????? How could I explain that to the local community, and even the millionaire "landlord" Dawn presently harboring a crush at me irl????? And what about my safety, and most importantly the innocents who depend on my protection??? What about my irl heart condition.....??? I need a stress free home environment just like I now have IRL.
Maybe I have just had senses on the fritz lately...... .
This is a shot in the dark, but, if this is read by the BG author, how bout just sending a private message??? But only if no drama is involved. I do not want to be painted as a villain.....for not being.......depressed, gay (for men), broken spiritually and emotionally and mentally, drugged on psychiatric pills, and stuck in the payrent's basement like "good little stereotypical Fictionkin / Otherkin" should be.......(according to mankind and internet memes).
A move in (following an *absolutely required* screening period and an April / May week long SD visit) would, in a ***best*** case scenario, mean me noting an absolute nightmare situation at logistics and strategy. Not only would I note angry locals (Carolyn, Anastasia, Heather, Justin, Jordie, Dawn, Zach, Kelly, Aubrey, Dennis, Gabriel, Luke, Cole, Aves, Anne, etc etc etc), I would likely have to note a fake but legally binding marriage O_O.........certificate. (That, but with no relationship stuff whatsoever irl in any shape or form). I note "popularity" and a "good Christian lifestyle reputation" here. I am known for my celibacy pledge irl. There is also the issue of trust. How am I supposed to feel it.....??? How in the world....am I supposed to feel it?????