Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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Staying Focused / The Blue Place

Oh jeez.... . I witnessed a blatant reaction at yesterday's posts. (*Hears my bedroom wall creak*). A Christian dude was honking at my carport area. I went to go see what was up.

Dude was talking about God having told him to come tell me some great news........ . He said God had chosen me to have "some new furniture"......... . He said some "rich people" were looking for somebody special to give some very lightly used leather (!?!?!!?!) furniture to...... . Me? I widened my mouth approximating a smile, and was like "really~? ^_^'......". I asked him what types they were, then noted him mentioning a leather recliner, a leather love seat (???), and a leather couch with a bed inside it.......... . A full matching set. I asked what a love seat was, saying a ghetto dude from the hood does not know about premium furniture. I then....witnessed a strange look, and noted dude like " you....know........, a little two seat couch to sit on with your lady, where you put your arm around her"....(*feels my face burning a bright red*)....as he did a "certain nod" with a 'black' 'aura' over his face...... . I felt pain...that I noted such a tease. Pain as memories of that prior me (from late summer) were stirred to the surface...... .

I soon was noting J (dragon priest dude) and the white truck (from the YouTube video Jag's Big Adventure), and arrived to a luxury style house (*blinks as a kiss is felt*). I used Wings Of Love as soon as I arrived, and a "Hallmark movie" style scene took place after I introduced myself. Even though I witnessed a subanime married couple, my heart ached....as I longed to be back with my.....(*feels my face burn red*) soulmate.... . I was offered another bed, and a bed frame, on top of the stuff I was given....due to The Wings Of Love in effect. I took the bed frame.

I said the thanks words, going through the motions. I also got some premium deli items to give, so as to not mooch on J. (Had to goto Asheville medical appointment the other day, and after 30 dollars was for gas paid then, J would not accept more money for gas).

The move was done successfully, and I tried to protect the furniture with impromptu padding on the way back.

Me??? I have not changed my mind...... . I actually ache even more now. What is the point.....? Who is supposed to use this furniture??? (*Feels my face go absolutely red*).

Maybe I just witness a cruel joke... .

Me??? I think I know how to be with my soulmate.... . And that is what I want.... . Yea. And it is called Code Blue....... . I want to just relax into the next event, and get back to that blue place I saw in January 2006 after gasping for days in agony. I want to get back to the arms of my beloved (*sniffles*) (*feels my throat tighten*). I want to be back with her, in that place where both light and dark are holy, and evil does not exist.
Tags: agony, lessons through pain, life goals
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