I am ready to be done here.... . Why should I have to keep going through day after day of agony and loneliness??????
So, the dragonoid intends to keep pulling me back from the brink??? But why??? Why try to infuse me with vitality and heal me???? I only suffer here........ . So why try to pull me back???? (*Groans in confusion as hears a fluttery and high-pitched voice say "love~~......."*).
I will try to objectively report yesterday's visions.... .
So, I was on the recliner couch, and chilling. After having been invited to dinner, I was invited to spend the night. Destiny / X Box One stuff, and country music, played at the background. I dozed around 12am........., CNA watching over at me the whole time..... .
I suddenly (*blushes totally red*) felt a caress to my back (!!!), so I writhed and keeled over as energy surges (!!!) pulsed through me... . My body glowed with energy, with (!!??!!?!?!!?!) (???) vitality (????¿!!!??) seemingly "donated" towards me..... . I tried to hide the event from Heather, and put cover over myself.....just before a full vision visual overtook my senses (*gulp*). I suddenly saw a black expanse (*groans shyly and confusedly as feels a kiss as I type*), and I witnessed the dragonoid.....(*facepalms*) in a XX subanime form....embracing at me (!!??!!?!).... . I empathically tasted, and I do not know how or why, care, passion, eased worry, and love..... .
The dragonoid (*turns red*) was happy again.......... . (*Recalls the descriptor used in my last post (*gulp*), the word "heart-wrenching"*). And I fell asleep, fell deeply asleep (and I apologize about this) feeling comforted, and with ease felt regarding my heart / chest pain felt on Sunday evening.
The heart-wrenching content continued by the time of the next vision............ . (*Gulps*). I think I saw the hallway of a house with oak floors (this house?????????).... . A little cabbit / rabbit / Espeon / feline / werefeline creature, perhaps furry and white, was being approached by the dragonoid..... . The effects of the embrace from earlier were magnified, and I felt innocent love, overwhelming and pure, emitted (!!!!!?!!???!!?!) from the brunette figure with shoulder length hair....(who wore pajam pants and a t-shirt).... . My point of view, which I think was my starlike form, hovered closer.... . I, and I apologize to my people about this, yearned to hug and be hugged by (*facepalms*) the pj wearing figure.....who had a heart radiating innocent love (!?!), and a (*goes red*) healthy and soft (*gasps as I feel a caress*) looking chest (*gulps*)...... . I felt a bond of love, unstoppable and yet so gentle, and yearned to be with that figure forever... . I think the creature on the floor was me, because after a hug happened (????!!!???), I was suddenly transported to that telepathic console referenced in a post last week or so. I heard a voice from that console.....which I have not heard in months, confirming (*gasps as I feel another caress*) my visuals from the visions..... . I was happy (*facepalms*) to hear that voice again........... .
The heart-wrenching effects kept building, and went onto this..... . I was upsettedly walking around some estate... . Sebastian from Black Butler was at my left, and I noted him asking for orders or whatever.... . I waved my hand "no" at him, not wanting anything to do with him... . I eventually made my way to a room....., some kind of classroom or therapy hall looking place. I soon found myself sitting. I was sitting to a desk, and witnessed a jumbled looking entity, both XX and XY chromosome type, at the desk facing mine.... . By telepathy, I could tell I was noting the dragonoid again, and the dragonoid was tearful and distraught...... . A question was asked toward me, a very intimate question....which I struggle to remember...... . My reply, was that I would just use my reality manipulation abilities to write everything "shiny" and "new". The dragonoid cried deeply, asking (???) a question as if to ask if I would just "erase" them with my rewality manipulation abilities. The dragonoid wept, and talked about the past..... . Tearfully, and sobbing, the (*sniffles*) dragonoid asked "do you know what you did to my heart~~~....?", utterly bawling as they reached down to their shirt...... . I felt bonds of trust, aching love, and heartache directed at my way, and I about protested "nooo!", not wanting the dragonoid to be exposed... .
That was when I saw an empty white circle on the shirt around the chest area.... . A picture then formed on top of that, and the dragonoid took hold of the picture and handed it at me...... . In shock, I took the picture and walked to another area of the room.
I noted stick figures, and a scene of some sort. I saw the word "Cullowhee" to the corner of the paper, and some kind of sad scene... . The word "peace", and maybe the word "love", was to the upper corner of the paper. I saw akin to a fragmented scene, which I struggle even now to interpret. Was it a scene of geological upheaval?
Me? I am just like...."my gosh~~~"???? What did I do???? The term "crush" is misleading, feelings like that are called "falling and having fallen in love".
I am very shaken up by this...... .
I do not see the problem really. I am still here.... . I am not even angry..... . What stops the dragonoid from doing internet contact???? What assurance or comfort can I safely give without lying or forfeiting my principles??? How can I help??? (*Hears a voice say "say you love me~~"*). (????????????). (*Hears a voice say "Please say you still love me~~~" *). (Was that real???? Okay, since my heart condition makes my time unknown, ...I still.....(*sighs*) love you, although I do not know who or what you are). (*Feels a loving caress to my hair, and hears the words "thank you~~"*). (*Suddenly hears a question I will hold typing*). (*Replies "sure", remembering my promise*).
Oh, today....I had more sightings. A time...I was alarmed as I guess I caught dragonoid (wearing blue) trying to embrace me again..... . Another time.., I guess I witnessed dragonoid (wearing a black button up top and dress pants) guarding some location I was in (??!!?!!).
(Suddenly has a flashback to a terrified and Goddess-like hyperdimensional Tea, Tea who was wearing a nun attire, and asking me a very solemn question. Remembers her shoulder length brown hair).
(P.S. About the above, my say of love was directed to the mysterious being with the heart full of radiant love, not any of the ones involved with "fronting" (like Reno)).