But before that, um......dragonoid??? How about holding on reading this? Sensitive thy art, due to um....the "crush" thing...y'know??? Very very very sensitive. Sensitive because you love me, and care very deeply about my opinion of you. This is ***not*** a personal attack..., that which I am about to say. This post is bout me. Yea, my own fears and worries....... . Stuff I have spoken of for years.
I spent the day happily meditating to yesterday's recording, and my theme to Dawny Dawn *^_^*. Rainbow toned energy waves of love, hope, and cosmic energy pulsed from me through the day. I spent a bit of the afternoon preparing bedroom II of III for the leather couch with a bed inside it, or the leather mini couch (in case I have an overnight visitor someday)..... . After a hour or so of bedroom prep....I decided to rest and go watch The Silverhawks on my Wii U.
Well, an ***intense*** drowsiness came over me by the time it got dark....O_O..... .
(*Gulps*). I knew I was in for it as I was lying on my back after shutting down my Wii U...... . (*Laughs*)..... . Some (*facepalms*) vision scene or (???) event....took over my senses, whereby I (!!!!???!!!!) noted giggling (what the what?) and ecstatic dragonoid (!?!) playfully chasing me through a *gorgeous* and flowery mountain meadow environment (!!!??!!!). Yea, and (*gulps*) all dressed up in a blouse, and a pretty and flowy white skirt with floral designs O_O....... . My chaser was giddy, and happy, giddy and happy with love and mirth O_O........like an innocent child who has fallen deeply in love (*blinks*)... . After somehow (*coughs*) noting the soft meadow ground, and noting dragonoid (!?!) gazing deeply and lovingly at my eyes, ***this*** *place*** ***here*** went ***fluid***...... . I felt an embrace around me (*blinks*)...(*gulps*).... .
Ok, it is all me from here....... . Everything in this post from here on, is about ***me***. No personal attacks intended....... .
Just before and as things went ***really*** fluid, I ***detected*** at a power that made my hair stand up..... . Some point.....I even heard a "scratching" noise at my house door..., and I felt sincere dread (!!!!???!!!!) for some reason.... . My gemstone barrier held up though (*feels my fingernails glowing in shock*), that, and / or I noted whatever force I detected......did not want a head-on confrontation....... .
I soon found everything going white..., and when I woke, I witnessed a harrowing scene (!!!!!!!!!)...... . My house had undergone some type of restructuring (!!?!!?!?!), and I witnessed Jesus (!!!!!!)....and some other dude.....(*gulps*) sitting at my recliners!!!!! Me? I was hovering, hovering as my energy levels *explosively* (!!!) surged! I learned my lesson from 2001 (*feels my fingernails glowing in conviction and determination*)..... . I was not going to forgive that reasonless attack by Jesus at my body's electrical systems.....(*remembers that January 2001 day*). I groaned as I unleashed my hyperdimensional energy (*feels my fingernails glowing*), ***gender*** related energy...which I relearned to use through limitless hardships and suffering....... . My aura screamed with the frenetic energy of self preservation, and I witnessed Jesus and the stranger....go airborne, and then repulsed entirely.......(*feels my lips tingling*). Some kind of warding / exorcism event took place.....(!!!), and I claimed my seat in my recliner......(*blinks*).
A long time passed...where I was panting, and winded.... . The restructured house room was dark, and I did not sense mankind....... . The entire world had transformed O_O in conjunction with my surging energy levels...... .
My heart went all arrhythmic as I sat, like during that cardiology test last week....(*gulps*). I clutched my chest in pain.... . It was then that I heard at J's voice (seems he couldn't manifest a Homo Sapiens body around the presence of my surging aura field)..... . He was all sardonically like "you're going to die and go to h3ll........"..... . I cried, cried in fright like I used to feel back in 1990....., fright at God (*feels my throat tighten*) and bullying basis h3llfire threats, but then ***experience*** caught up with me..... . I recalled at porn, recalled at hookers, recalled at impossible rent and utility bills and SSI deadlines. I also recalled that holy blue place seen around January 23rd 2006, and my visions from Code Blue events... . Yea, and was I was like...., "naw, I already witnessed h3ll, and found I have no place there!!!!"...., and underwent yet ***another*** surge...that set my heart rhythm straight.... . Yea, I refused death, and the wheels of destiny were set into motion. (Like I said, I am not suicidal, this heart stuff isn't about death).
What happened next, involved an entire (!?!) timeline (!!!!!???!!!!) transformation.... . I had to ***strain*** to hold onto my current memories. I was in an even more radically transformed and fluid version of my current house..... . Yea, a house more like a mountain church, and with 4 bedrooms..... . Not long after witnessing the "glitchy" seeming "landlord Dawn and daughter" pop up, and then disappear just as fast, I was exploring some kind of altar room filled with vitamins and holistic health supplies. "Phantom landlord Dawn" tried to rationalize at me, talking about having a dead mother that left lots of health supplies (that whopper was as far-fetched as the anime industry lie I witness over here)......... . Whatever I saw, a "narrator" would pass off at being "normal"..... .
I...., after having come to a conclusion about the setting, was about to go call a friend (*blinks*) and report my experiences, but.....my memory was all on the fritz O_O (!!!!!). I tried to remember my friends, my friend, and (!?!) saw at the dragonoid's face (!?!) as I searched my memory.... . I had to struggle to remember ***anything*** from my life "here"! The timeshift was having an unexpected effect on me.... . So, I scrambled to look for a phone, but my star-like form popped from my body some moments O_O, and looking down to myself under / beside me, I noted (*gulps*) a subanime anime border XX chromosome type biracial / mulatto with long wavy brown hair, pants, and a shirt.... . (*Cackles*). Landing back into my body, the same "pop" happened again, and again...., so I tried to control my body whilst hovering overhead...... .
(Okay lil dragon, how about not reading from here on okay???? This is stuff I have written about for ***years***. It is ***not*** a personal attack).
Me??? I was whimsical and yet cautious...... . My current memories came back online about that moment, and because of emergency action taken on my part...... . I was not going to thoughtlessly risk being an average bimbo (for physiognomy is real), and I needed prep time to protect myself from the sickly brain and deranged mind that would come with said body.... . Yea, I did not want to be a moron, a deluded moron like the chick the Merovingian refers to in The Matrix Reloaded. A moron as described by Chateau Heartiste, RooshV, and Illimitable Men.... . I did not want to be a chump that would automatically, thoughtlessly, and disgustingly slum it up with dumpster alpha males......., and sickly beta males if the price / profit vs loss ratio.....was right. Yea, I wanted to keep my free will, my free will that lets me love... . My free will that lets me choose. My free will that lets me fear all men, and love women. My free will that lets me seek Goddesses, and bypass a horrid fate of dying alone, hopeless, and addled with STD's....... . (*Recalls at the "divorced" and "h*mped and dumped" XX chromosome types I have witnessed in my travels*). (*Recalls at J*rdie, and those fingertip Herpes blisters, and mouth Herpes blisters, and outer facial cheek Herpes blisters*). Yea, my free will that lets me discern XX chromosome types ***are*** ***not*** actual women..... . Yea, I did not want to be lost in delusions, and trapped in a narcissistic and solipsistic "fog".... reinforced by a closet full of "expensive" mall skirts (skirts which any XY chromosome type can wear just fine, non-hyperdimensional skirts that are not held up by feminine form traits below the waist.....and thus require a "belt" or stomach constriction based design to be held up). Too, (*shivers*), I was not ready for that alien......menstruation stuff............. . (Yea... . I will not knock transsexual XY chromosome MTF dudes, because those dudes indeed are equal to XX chromosome types..). (*Hears an angry f-bomb...., uh oh*).
That said, everything transformed again, as if responding to my need to "regroup".... . I soon found myself back in my bed here (with phased stuff still lingering in my bedroom)... .I felt the embrace of female arms around me (*blushes*).... . Just before fainting, I (!!!) saw and heard, as if seeing and hearing through a portal, a hyperdimensiional and beyond anime female gazing into my eyes speaking... . She had black hair, and was wearing a black and white maid's attire (like I have seen Dawn wear in the past (around 2011/2012)). I struggled to process her words, but they were full of love.
Whew. This post unexpectedly long..., but I want to try to be the best adventurer and journalist possible. Yea, I need to keep informative logs (*feels my fingernails glowing with the emotion of dedication as I type*).
Yea, whether XX or XY chromosome type, neither show any link or frame of reference whatsoever to gender as I instinctively know it. Whether XY chromosome type "urology" or XX chromosome type "ob / gyn", neither display the organs nor organ systems related to hyperdimensional females. Organ systems that make the generation of entire galaxies IRL as much a thing of ease as walking and chewing bubblegum simultaneously.... . (*Smiles and exhales in ecstasy as remembers how....good....hyperdimensional females look in form-fitting skirts, gowns, dresses, and pants*). Yea, gender related organ systems which neither XX nor XY chromosome types have even a trace of...... . Now I know why I ***had*** (!!!!) to witness a Negro male in my days here..... . (*Finds myself feeling relief that I, during my track and wrestling team days, felt no attraction whatsoever to "ghetto monster class" "brothers"....(yea, the stuff about " black dudes is not a myth O_O)*)..... .
I need to be veeeeeeeery careful about this space and time shifting stuff.......... .
I do not need to be doomed by a hopeless and alien bimbo brain / mind......grafted at my mind, body, and soul.. . (*Shivers*). I give thanks that I made it back.....with my sense of self and free will....intact.