Ummm..., are my sacral brains flaring online for an initial time or something??? My data processing levels are soaring to levels......that make 2014 me...seem like a me that was in a vegetative state.... . Gosh O_O.... . It even feels like some kind of energy is bursting forth from within me, and it is the same energy which I used to defensively ward at Jesus (*feels my fingernails glowing*). I feel like I am enshrouded in literal...shimmering rainbow toned...stars of a hyperdimensional nature..., those, and a multiversal scale and multiversal origin.... cosmic energy field akin to a nebula..... .
After writing the last post, I perceived "company" again IRL (!!!). A hyperdimensional being was cuddled up to me (*blushes red*)... . Some point in the early morning light, a pair of beings were present, and I *clearly* heard....and empathically / telepathically felt..the words "I love you~~~" (*gawks*) sincerely spoken by a being who sounded ***exactly*** like Iris / Tori Meadows (!!!) / Rosetta / Pinkie Pie (!!!) (*feels my fingernails glowing with hope*). Those innocent, adoring, and vulnerable words and feelings nourished me, nourished my entire being, and brought forth another fluidity event.... . I thank the being who spoke those words and felt those feelings towards me (*tearfully gulps*). I love you too~~~..., (*recalls Fall 2000, and how I trained, lifting weights and swimming miles upon miles for her for weight related reasons......, yes...training that eventually led me to meditation and cosmic chi manipulation in 2001*)....I always did~~~.
Yea, so looks like this heart stuff is going to lead me to a new world. And now that my abilities have been unsealed, I am certain of it. This heart stuff is about progress, not being cremated and dusted onto a mountain gem mine spot by J and Heather (*feels a glowing sensation within my chest*). Yea, for I was in a new world......yet again this morning. I experienced what 1986 must've been like for me, because I was floating around a new realm....and searching for a body point..... . I saw an expansive and snowy winter expanse that piqued my interest. My starlike form scanned the environment.
I eventually witnessed a short and fat man standing under a tree. About the time I was trying to check for any possibility of a body link, a fight was "announced" (*blinks*). I tried to assess the situation, when the guy just started erupting muscles, and fur (!?!!?!?!). He was some kind of werebeast!!! His opponent darted in at the scene, a teen boy....that was also a werebeast apparently. I prepared to try to defend myself, only to soon find that the fat man was not me O_O...... . The two fought a nasty fight, a fight that I, believing in pacifism (within reason), did not want to even watch....... .
Soon I was observing a ***posh*** dual story luxury log cabin..... . A place within the same snowy environment as before.... . A dude with a trimmed beard, and "Casanova" demeanor...was readying himself within the cabin. He had white pants, and a blue shirt. His hairstyle had little peaks to the sides. He put on his coat...as a loudspeaker announced he would soon be late for..."the tournament" (???????) O_O..... . Dude suddenly did a crazy were transformation to some leopard or jaguar state, and sent his front door flying with a ki punch..... . I tracked at him as he left the house.. . He stopped to pick some (???) blue and white flowers that seemed to be doing ok in the icy environment..... . He was acting all "manly". I had a hunch he wasn't me (*gulps*), and my hunch was proven right.... .
Indeed.... . The very moment I discerned I was witnessing a warped Bloody Roar and Tekken hybrid zone, I found....my body link O_O.... . Yea, and I was hiding behind some wooden crates.......within a dark location. With no mirror available, I "popped" my remote viewing form / starlike form from my body for some moments as to assess my status........ . Ummmmm, I witnessed (*pauses as heart arrhythmias are felt as I type*) a kneeling (!?!?!!?!) anime / subanime border...."8/9 year old range" O_O.......mulatto / biracial grafted at my perception of myself...., and apparently the ***same*** one I witnessed after warding at Jesus............... . (Although I noted teen status during the earlier sighting event). Yea. Yet again I spotted wavy brown hair, and tannish skin...., but this time (!?!) I noted a...um....quite revealing Sailor Moon esque.....attire of purple, pink, and white tones *O_O* (*turns a flushed pale blue*) (*cringes*). Not to brag or anything, and I never intend to claim at being beautiful.......whatever form I take (such isn't my style, nor my belief)....., but the kid looked like "black Barbie's" "kid sister"...... . (Not that I think Barbie is beautiful). Yea, and with eyes that bespoke of arcane know!edge and life experiences far far far beyond what a "8/9 year old" should know...... . I was kneeling on a single knee, ninja style, and a staff or golden defensive object was in my left or right hand..... .
Ummmmm..., yea, I was NOT down with the whole "exposed legs in a strange and hostile land full of men" thing.....(*blinks*). I have witnessed men for a sufficient amount of time necessary to predict at how dudes react at exposed skin...., exposed thighs...(*cringes as recalls at traumatizing hentai witnessed during my web studies in the past*) (*cringes as recalls at pedophiles witnessed and telepathically / empathically scanned at during my IRL travels*). Yea, that XX chromosome type being exposed like that in an unsecured environment full of potential predators was just pointless, ignorant, vulgar, and irresponsible; that, and ***certainly*** not proof of gender status in any way, shape, or form.... . State of dress issues were not my only concern though..... . Too, I did not want to risk another pair of horrible and treacherous.....godoffal faker payrents assigned at me...... . (*Remembers at 1986*). Yea, that....in conjunction with enemies employing some kind of nefarious plot whereby a "coma awakening" would be accused (as a coverup) at my long sought realm shift event. I did not want to risk being labeled as a confused and amnesiac kid....who had "dreamed" or "hallucinated"....about a thirty year period of suffering, pain, struggling, and loneliness. (*Blinks as a kiss is felt*). Yea. I needed protection, protection and safeguards..... . I was ***NOT*** willing to be some skimpily dressed kid...trotting around a cramped house......while the deranged fake mother assigned at me....takes on creepy / lecherous / dangerous / sketchy "live-in" "boyfriend" after "boyfriend"......(almost all XX chromosome types follow the same predictable routine).
*Sigh*. I am not trying to "look a gift horse in the mouth", but my instincts and predictions are ***usually*** spot on......... . (*Ponders*). (*Glances down to my heart*). I ***do*** need to move on from here...though........... . Maybe I will be okay as long as I keep striving for maturity, and a mind free from delusions... .That, and focusing on the understanding that a XX chromosome type offers all of the disgusting disadvantages of a XY chromosome type, and absolutely ***none*** of the advantages of being a hyperdimensional (aka real) female....... . I'll have to watch my back too, because XX chromosome types treat other XX chromosome types like objects / furniture / disposable and replaceable garbage....just as much, if not "worse" than XY chromosome types..... . Yea, maybe I'll be okay if I just try to keep my mind free from delusions.... . No creepy skirts, no weird dresses, no strange gowns, no spamming pink colors (all the (deceptive) old tricks and substitutes), and no impossibly warped and deranged claims at being "fine" or "perfect" or "fine as is (which is actually mediocre as is)"..... .
Yea.... . Maybe my journal has prepared me for any upcoming realm transformation event whereby I, for a long time, note a XX chromosome type mulatto grafted at me.. .
An individual striving, struggling, and training to be a winner.., will never be able to make friends with ones who do not win......, ones who are "addicted" to wallowing in excuses for not winning. Anybody striving and trying to do better (than mediocre), and be better (than mediocre)...in an ***open*** manner, will ***only*** witness ***VICIOUS*** contempt and bitterness from ones ***not*** willing to try to be better. Lol.... . I will live the same way as I am now....O_O (!!!??!!?!!!?!!!?!!!!) (omg, yea!!!!)...., well, lived before the heart events.... . Weight training, running, playing guitars, playing electric mandolins, sketching, watching the heavens with telescopes, gem mining, farming, and swimming across rivers *^_^*. That'll give me something to focus on besides my loneliness....... . Yea, just because I'll witness a loser grafted at me, doesn't mean ***I*** have to be a loser...... .
(*Hears thunder echo the mountains IRL (!!!!!!) (wow, my energy does not mess around)*). (*Clutches the Sillimanite gemstone blade in my pocket, as to avoid frying the house*). (*Watches lightning arc across the December night sky*).