I set myself to do it yesterday evening. (*Gulps*). I *had* *to* investigate, following any and all leads as to the identity of that cosmic wolf Goddess being (*feels my fingernails glowing with hope*) seen last week. I know how my abilities work now, and they are about love (*dips my head in embarrassment*) and tender feelings (*facepalms*).... . I had to go ahead and get it done, so I set myself to launch my starlike form and find at 'FenrisStar' again (*suddenly has major flashback, nausea, recalling at Ellen's AOL screen name from 2000 / 2001....which was *****Star.....*). That, after VI months ago where I did the same thing for an initial time.
Preparing for launch, I suddenly detected at a horrible power (???????) :/..... . Scary, evil, angry, cold (*gulps*).…..., so I scrubbed the sortie...and put the mission on hold. I put my defense gemstones on me pillow (*blush*)...... .
When I next woke, I saw a pair of glowing orange eyes, and I was in a place of absolute darkness!!!! Something (*inhales and exhales*) had happened to this very world. I struggled to move, as if I was wrapped up or such. I released waves of energy that rippled and pulsed across space and time. Working my way to my feet as a makeshift environment *with* a *floor* took form, I ran..... . As soon the / a sun formed / reformed..., I immediately saw that I was wearing pink footie pajamas O_O, and I saw that I was a *kid*!!!!! Specifically a kid with white skin O_O..., and apparenly not a male XY chromosome type. I prepared to note the worst as I saw signs of witnessing a "total timeline collapse"..., for I was apparently noting an old house from 1986....... . I kept running, seeking more data. As I ran, I heard at an evil voice... and witnessed a nasty one, a warden which I witnessed during my past....(1986). I had no time for Zaki, nor Zaki's lies.
I kept running until I noted a courtyard type area with patches of lava. I halted as I witnessed a snake..../ serpent / dragon feline dog entity at my path, all black. It was 'lil....... . I witnessed the 'lil feller hissing at me (*chuckles nervously*)...as I moved forward....., for I was trying to avoid evil Zaki...whilst also trying not to walk into lava. Zaki threatened, saying the 'lil entity had a very venomous bite. That was when I leapt, hovered high in the air, and flew to a castle which I seemingly materialized by sheer will and / or was suddenly present behind me.
I refused at some insane "timeline rewrite" attempting male voice, suggesting I was the daughter of a dead king (*gulps*) who was taught the secret tunnels of the castle passed down to me. I refused at the booming male voice, refused at the alteration at reality, and noted the booming entity thwarted. I shifted to remote viewing then, and saw me, with shoulder length reddish / orange hair...crawling into a secret chamber for my safety. Was I beyond anime???? I hope so (*blinks*).
However, as soon as that was deep within the tunnel and seemingly hidden, I noted Yugioh (!?!?!) akin...anime vault hunter dudes approach at the area..... . I overheard at the dudes referencing at a certain artifact or such.
I, not taking chances, gathered my energy, and released a wave of cosmic energy that halted whatever "timeline" and "world restructuring" process that was happening.
*Wipes my left eye*. As things were stabilizing, but still trippy, I soon found myself hovering across a room.... . The room was akin to a dining room. I recoiled in shock.....as I witnessed FenrisStar sitting.....to a table. FenrisStar had reddish brown hair, as usual, and was wearing a casual top, and black skirt. I overheard FenrisStar talking, and heard the word "glad" (????). Fenris was talking with a subanime seeming entity (????). Talking about being glad for (????) something (???) and / or some circumstance and / or somebody (????) ???
Ummm, *gulps*, I..I sensed a gentle heart, a heart I recognized (*facepalms*). Yea, and I felt love........flow forth from within me (*feels a touch to my right hand*). Maybe even adoration......... . Was I relieved to see the person I care about still functioning??? I am just so confused, just like then.... . (*Sigh*). I hovered on, shaken up by the feelings of love and relief within me..... . I was confused......, and needed some air. Another big flash of light happened, and within moments the world "reset" back to the way it was......(mostly) before the event.
Why??? Why am I still in love? Love that burns as passionately as ever??? I am okay with it. Real love does not expect "payment" or "reciprocation"... . People I love are not tools to use and throw away according to "convenience". And as such, my love is not based upon "convenience ratings" assigned at the people I love. No. My love stays, burns constant.... . I'm in love (*Groans and sighs*). I am just going to have to carry this love that I feel, and find the "why".... .
The only "why" I can figure.....is the case whereby I note a false persona grafted at my perception of a loving family member and soulmate (on account of the sensory flipping Omniversal Routing Gem which is currently integrated into my being). There are many reasons for me to believe this. [Such as evidence....that XX chromosome types are 'futanari' by 'default' and have lied about it all along.....(just like with the lie about anime). Men, both XY and XX chromosome type ones, only strip at the functionality, design, abilities, and specifications of the (*coughs*) genitalia of the original gender. XY chromosome types having progressively worse erasure (leading up to a frog-like state which is entirely lacking at "certain organ")....... . Any trialer should be undeniably attracted to women, and only women. The most attractive women. And XX chromosome types, whilst malformed and lacking at the real versions, ***should*** have (*coughs*) erectile pseudoorgans of a higher functionality scale than XY chromosome type men].
All I can do, I suppose, is seek the source of my concerns, the wolf Goddess seen last week. For that reason, I have taken African Dream Root (and I am getting sleepy). I need to get the truth from her directly, the truth whether or not she is witnessing subanime America / subanime Dream World Earth with me right now. Either way, my feelings of worry for the woman I love can be addressed, and the "seal" on my abilities generated by that worry.....can be addressed. And if there is another trialer, empathy is the only was for them to not be lost, deluded, and crazy..... . Before my empathy senses came online, I ran away period..... . That whether I saw a beautiful Goddess approach me, or witnessed a hostile dude charging down at me.