I want to have a post where I kick back, relax, and talk about my hopes for the future ^_^ *blush* . Hmmmm, I've beeing doing some thinking on the issue of my (hopefully) upcoming encounters with my family members~ *gulp* . I think, noting, day by day~.....a person who inspires me~......, captivates me, is JUST~ what I need~ *smiles in hope*. I guess I need to admit it *blush* ??? I.....*gulp*..am DEPENDENT on companionship~....., companionship granted by the presence of AWESOME~, CHARISMATIC, and INTELLECTUALLY BRILLIANT people~.... *blushes* *feels my left hand glow with blush tinted mana * . Wow, and, now that I read the above, I note, PEOPLE FROM THE REAL WORLD ARE *BEAUTIFUL* (!!!) ~ TOO!!! Yes, I have found that there is an UNDENIABLE link to intellectual capacity and appearance. I have found, that it is a PROVEN FACT, that as SOON as I see.....eyes of TRUE SIZE~, TRUE AND RADIANT~....BEAUTIFUL COLORS; I note a being who is MENTALLY..., SPIRITUALLY...., AND EMOTIONALLY~.......*HEALTHY*. While following that same train of thought, I have noted, when I note 'DULL'....., 'MINISCULE', 'ANTIFAR' 'ANTITOO' 'ANTITINY' ('antiproportionately') 'ANTIEYES', I ALWAYS (!!!) and I mean *ALWAYS* note 'RETARDATION' ',' 'AUTISM' ',' 'EGOTISM' ',' 'SOCIOPATHIC' 'TENDENCIES'',' 'AND' 'A' 'TOTALLY' 'APATHETIC' 'DEMEANOR'!!!!! Whenever I note 'a' 'false' 'being' 'with' 'antitiny'...........'joyless' 'antilittle' 'antieyes', I note 'antia' 'antibeing' 'antithat' 'antipresents' 'A' 'WALL'........, 'A' 'DEAD' 'END', 'AT' ANY (!!!) ATTEMPT (!!!) for SOCIAL CONTACT!!!! It IS WHAT IT IS....., and I even intend this post as even a STEADY-STATE WARNING to myself on the issue, in case that my MIND SLIPS/RECALL SLIPS!!! Yea~. *blush* .......I want to see people~....., see girls~ *blush* who are HILARIOUS *laughs as remembers prior meetings with my family members~*...., and WARM MY HEART~......MY SOUL~!!! If I were to, note, DAILY NOTATION, realtime, of those family members~........, OH WOW~!!! I don't even KNOW what forms of recovery would take place for me~....... *swwoons * *gulps* . Yea~, I want to be friends~...., be bonded spiritually~....., with a person WHOM I CAN BE PROUD OF~.... . A person whom I can love with all my heart~...., and write songs for ^_^!!!! During the experiences which I note 'demons' 'accuse' 'Random' 'Eye' 'Movement' ('sheer' 'nonsense') 'at', I see~ and interact with those family members~....for very quick periods. Even so, those periods have COLORED my life~...., INSPIRED me~, and GIVEN ME WHAT I NEED (joyful memories) (ecstasy inducing memories *blush*) (life-saving communication time, time...to communicate with the people whom I live for~.... *hope glow of my left hand, felt...*) TO SURVIVE!!! Hmmmm *gulps* *notes the mental playing of the Grandia "Angel Culture" theme* ......., if I were to note the people whom I love~........in a STEADY STATE manner, I think that would CLINCH.....the issue of my recovery~..... . I'm going to pray about this~..... . Pray that the phenomena....which I have postulated of~...., may transpire~ *gulps* .