Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil
jagyggdrasil

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Stirred Memories............



Wow..... . Dang even......... .

I was not crying or anything as I noted M*cross Delta 16, but...woa......... . *Rubs my forehead*.

Gosh.... . I'm shaken..... .

Yea. I remember snowy days, snowy days and an interstellar lifestyle of discovery, romance, love, and adventure...... . (*Feels my brain straining*). (*Recalls my nigh daily "doodlings" of starships during my 90's witnessing days*). I remember people who were......."advanced", and full of ambition and dreams / goals...... . People who were excited about life, full of beneficial ideas, and brimming with healthy and positive emotions..... .

I've remembered such a lifestyle clearly....., and that even decades ago... . Back then I wondered then if such a lifestyle would be in my future......., and I dedicated myself...to doing all I could to make it so. *Nods*. (*Recalls at the strange and unsupportive reaction of 'teachers' and 'Christian preachers' as I, even noting the 80's / kindergarten, stated how I would was going to be an aeronautics / space engineer..........., and go to a technological institute college*).

Back then I would witness mankind / 'teachers' / payrents predate at my naïveté and make delusional claims of what mankind of 2016 would hold / do, yea, and I would dance around in hope and enthusiasm. But just like with "Santa Claus" being exposed as a rotten and warped lie...., so were any and all claims of mankind's 'supposed' "2016".....space-based / robotics / flying cars oriented future....... . Yea. I instead noted 2016 mankind was all about ghettos, slums, EBT cards, poverty, exposed false promises, exposed depravity, exposed lies, and inexplicable and unrelenting hubris.

Yea, and I unexpectedly found that the worlds of high technology, high adventure, high culture, and true romance......are / were unexpectedly in my ancient past........(*blinks*), and even my present......albeit many many many many many planes beyond this limbo.

*Sighs*. I really hope my time here in this place, and my struggles witnessing inhumane and psychotic demons....have not irreparably damaged any chance for me to have / possess / display humanity...... .

Yea. That's also why I'm going to Japan............and trying to find a means to move on from this limbo / lucid dreamscape loop / this thoughtform based world. Me? I don't want to end up depressed, unable to love, hateful, apathetic.....and insane.....like the enemy..... . I want to be able to love others, able to care for others, and able to emotionally bond with others..... .

Yea. I need to get back to my roots (the stars, and an interstellar lifestyle), and put all of this hurting and pain behind me......... .

*Prays*.
Tags: nostalgia
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