Yea, I am going to have to hold doing any more missions assignments of the type stated in the last post.
What happened? Some point after I night / early morning of searching for Starry Maiden directly........, I got strained, and decided to just flop...and sleep to some floor of some location.....somewhere.
Where was she....?????
That was what I asked as I drifted to sleep.
When I woke though, and had held even doing any searching, and was trying to make it back to this world / world state, I suddenly witnessed a strange location form at my surroundings.... .
Where was I?
Standing in confusion for some moments, I soon noted a strange Negro 'figure'.....'beckoning' at me to follow. Did I witness a 'hospital' 'setting'? (*Inhales in a shivery manner*).
I tried to ask what was going on.......... .
Now I do not know if a vision sequence was taking place, or if I witnessed a 'false' 'vision', or if I noted a 'bad' 'omen'.....or some 'warning' 'shot' from a cruel force...... . But I witnessed some macabre and unfunny ****.
The Negro one made some horrifying claims.....at a child-like female, claiming an abuser inflicting severe burns, and did unspeakable and 'worse'....acts...far worse than that......which I do not want to even talk about on here. I reeled at the words, and stated how I likely need not go any further because I did not want my abilities to flare up and cause environmental upheaval.
I watched at the somewhat disappointed.....Negro one continue on past some hospital checkpoint (????).... .
I felt guilt, and embarrassment, because I was not trying to be nor look like a coward...... .
The checkpoint door was left open? And I seemed to note the 'checkpoint' 'nurse' acting strange...... . So I walked through, and decided to conduct an investigation on my own....... .
I did not note any XX chromosome types receiving 'intensive' 'care' or 'burn' 'care' (*feels my fingernails glowing in a sickened manner*), or even *any* 'patients' on 'beds'....... . Passing through an area, I saw at what seemed like a filing cabinet section.... . Two drawer things seemed partially open. Investigating, I decided to note a drawer opened...... . The first was empty. But (!!!!!) (*feels my stomach sink*) the next one..............(*squeamishly gulps*) featured a......u...urgh.....w...wrapped up and cold figure...... . Looking at the figure wrapped in subanime white material, an adult size figure, I read at the 'toe' 'tag'... . Oh heck no..... . Heck no!!! Unh unh...... . The 'tag' had a 'state' 'name' written on it......... .
Yea, I ain't sign up for that ****. I got away from that 'area' as soon as possible.
I have made some decisions?
Decisions about the matter of witnessing that BG author.
Yea, um, only way I can offer a Switch now, if ever, is in public to Ash*ville or some place like Gr**nville SC.
Yea. No mailed items, no. No way. Unh unh.
Yea, and looks like I am just going to have to rely on luck from here, luck, and prayer....if the dual trial is indeed real as it seems to be. I do not know what kind of ****** up **** I just witnessed...... .
Yea. Some decisions, a person has to make on their own. There is no forcing those kinds of decisions. And refusing and defying at abuse...and abusers....is an example of a decision that a person has to make on their own. Facing reality...is another type of personal decision that can not be forced, and must be made privately.
Me? I note the Negro grafted at me has bad glaucoma attack issues.
Trigger Warning: Live photo, and *YES* I am in *PAIN* right now, but I tank through it with no 'painkillers' as always. (Gives testament to why I can't stand shriveled up, painful, dysfunctional, and weak....subanime pseudoeyes).
But the Caucasian basis of the BG author has...
'injuries'....that impose difficulties at judgment, and reasoning faculties.
Yea. I am just going to have to pray..... . Even when and if your life is in the hands of perfect, holy, and absolutely trustworthy divine hyperdimensional Goddesses, to be made aware of that fact can make you feel and seem ***very*** vulnerable. But my gosh...., I don't even want to...consider my life possibly being in the hands of th..(*shakes my head*). Unh unh. I can't even..... .
Objectively going from what I have already witnessed, I not know if it would even be fair of me to expect the BG author to make any calm, focused, logical, and determined life decisions for the author's 'own' 'sake'. So I can not expect any focused, clear, logical, determined, passionate, and loving.....decisions to be made by the author regarding my sake / wellbeing.
Yea. Any dual trial scenario's success depends on how far each participant is willing to go for the other participant. I am talking *TIME*, *PRAYER*, *WORK* *ETHIC*, *EFFORT*, *SACRIFICE*. Yea. Love expressed by way of action. In an example of what I mean by sacrifice, if I could actually find my dual trial partner Starry Maiden, I would gladly put all my gemstones and studio equipment in storage........., and take to the road or even an airplane...to go to her. In another example of what I mean by sacrifice, is me popping up from an emergency room table, tired as I was *THEN*, freezing at a 'congestive' 'heart' 'failure' 'timeline', and setting up and arranging this gemstone loaded meditation, training, and prayer house.
Maybe I just need some more G*ld and S*lver to see and meet Starry Maiden again...., hence why I have spectated that California company not shipping products nor returning emails / phone calls. Rather than a gallon of product being on my doorstep by Wednesday, I have noted even Amazon Pay's 'emails' to the company....gone unanswered.
Reality hasn't doomed me yet. Maybe I just witness more deity level forces messing at me........, and that..only as soon as that starship showed up.
Yea. That said, I am going to go take my emergency stores of G*ld and S*lver now, and have some Pl*tinum and Ir*dium with it.
Update: Upon taking the Irid*um, I was surprised by the variance from any of the other particles regarding taste. It tasted like *interstellar* *space*.....*smells*. A tiny bit like a kind of starsmoke....taste... .
Metal from / found in meteors....indeed..... .
After taking the IV metal particle infused solutions, a little bit of dizziness / vertigo took place, and a heavy gravity (!!??!!) pulse..sensation took place, making me feel as if i was being pressed down upon into the floor...somewhat. Felt some pangs for my chest heart heart too, some slight aching pulses.
*Glanced to the above*. Double the density of lead??? (!!!!*Felt an intense glow to my right fingertip, and then heard the roof / ceiling creak moments after that*). Really???
I am going to have to keep taking it..... . I already gather that much. (*Thinks about how a real female's body should be able produce necessary nan*metals naturally*). (*Glances down*). Hope I am not 'killing' myself by witnessing this 'useless' 'subanime' 'mortal' 'XY' 'chromosome' 'type' 'body'...... .