I have noted broken bones.... . I have noted the agonizing sting and blindness of angle closure glaucoma. I have had heart events so grave, that I saw "the tunnel" and thus learned what a Code Blue ER emergency means.
I survived at God's full frontal assault. I do not flinch lately during "burns" on account of surge events and my aura flare-ups.
I tanked all of the above, and did not complain. I tried to learn from each event, and modify myself to be a new person after every "boo boo" took place. I tanked it all, not stopping for a moment in regard to my mission.
Well, the pain I just felt moments ago, *still* has me **mind** **blown**. Emotional pain of a level I have never even felt before....... . A pain that had me *paralyzed*, and *gasping* for my breath. Even double Lotus potion with Passionflower.....did not dull the *intensity*, the *ache*.
Oh, I have not lost a fight, nor gotten myself mixed up in any dating stuff, dear readers. (*Exhales in relief*). All my pledges stand today as they did yesterday.
I do have some thinking to do though. Know what? I revealed my true character. I, in trying to share the blessings I have given, the blessings of infinite and undefeatable energies granted me from real divine beings, got hurt...... . Hurt emotionally. *Deeply* hurt emotionally. Know what though? I have no regrets, because all I did, by my acts, was prove to myself..., and to the world.....that I am not like God. I did not, do not, intend to hoard all of the goodness of life, all of the miracles of life, all of the infinite happiness of a hyperdimensional lifestyle, and all of infinite cosmic energy of existence for and to myself. I *TRIED* to share these blessings which I *struggled* to find, and be a *medium* for!!! Be my friend, my true friend, be *a* *friend* *to* *anybody* of the hyperdimensional plane, and any wish, any dream, is instantly yours........ .
Looks like, amidst witnessing mankind, I have only noted vile urine and other unspeakable forms of filth flung at my face....... . Mankind can not, from my observations, recognize nor comprehend my attempts to show love and kindness. Mankind can not comprehend, acknowledge, perceive, sense, feel, receive, nor give love **PERIOD**. Mankind is blind at every meaning, every example, every offer, every manifestation, and every aspect of love.....that ever has been or ever will be. I basically witness a mindless and amoral....**autodestructive** bacterium at a cosmic petri dish (The Infiniversal Routing Gem).
Know what though? If I slipped up in the last month, I'll admit to it. I just did not want to leave anybody behind to a grisly, horrifying, meaningless, loveless, pseudolife of lies and deception. I would rather slip up trying to give aid, and get hurt in the process, than risk being 'self-absorbed' 'and' 'comfortably' 'ignorant' as those of mankind always seem to be. I think I underwent a big test, a test relating to my inner (????) character this month. I hope I passed it (*gulps*) in the eyes of the people I care about.
My dual trial / trial partner theory is on the ropes, but whatever happens, I will hold onto it until I deactivate the "Big Bang Gem" which brought on this whole scenario. The theory makes me vulnerable, but that is just a vulnerability which I will have to carry with me. I have faith. I just wonder how long I have to hurt like this today, and I hope I do not become hateful and bitter (like the enemy) as a result of today's lessons.
I give thanks to the beings who have made, and continue to make my abilities possible. There is no greater a gift in all existence, than the true and loyal friendship of people who actually care about you ~~ and your wellbeing (and no less than you care about them and their wellbeing). True friends can not be born, created, made, nor replaced. They are truly precious. Truly precious, and meant to be eternally protected.