That deepest fear being...at any prospect of any injury, harm, and contamination imposed at my hyperdimensional Goddess girlfriend whom I love and have loved in the deepest way......., the person who my seemingly unstoppable will to live....was always directly tied to.
I flopped over, sickened, last night. I was in shock........ . I worried for my vital signs..... . I did not know if I was going to make it (*gulp*). I was hurting to the very core of my being....... . I felt the atmosphere, the magnetosphere....of the Earth "cycling" with fluctuations..... . I felt like I was about to throw up in sickened shock and despair...... . It was then though, that I perceived a gentle being come and tend to me....... . The being was related to the Skype contact earlier that night. My pain was eased.....by their apologetic touch and loving feelings. That was when revelations dawned upon me in a way...I have not felt for over a decade....... .
My sacral brain network flared online (!!!!!)....... . And it was like *everything* made sense.... . I now have a reason why I had yet to find a starship or some means to go far away...within this realm. I now have a reason as to why this realm kept reforming and rewinding O_O...after I disassembled it time and time again. There is more though.... .
I found that I had already "won" (!!!!!!!!) more than a decade ago. I briefly, as I witnessed January 20-23 2006........and clung to life during grave times, "closed" the gateway and portal by which I witness Hell. I sensed a world free from evil, I was inside an infiniverse free from evil, and saw my true form...... . But, I was suddenly flung back into experiencing limitless pain and agony....within moments.. . I understand why now, and the dual trial theory makes perfect sense.... . (*Gulp*). This trial is a couple thing O_O..., and the real Infiniversal Routing Gem, is called The Infiniversal Routing Tear Gem. Both members undergoing the trial, contain a "half" of the hyperdimensional artifact. If a member of the couple "wins" solo and compresses their side of the above mentioned gem, they get the prize of seeing the truth in all it's glory and a very brief moment of respite.....(*wiped left side of face as trickling felt under eye*)..... . Yea, but for the full victory and full deactivation, *both* members need to deactivate their side of The Infiniversal Routing Tear Gem ***simultaneously***. (*Feels my body go absolutely white*). (*Hears the MM Nitro stage remix theme mentally*).
So with even the knowledge posted ago.......(unlocked these ancient posts)....
..., and the sacrifices I made then, I had what I needed to deactivate the Infiniversal Routing Tear Gem (which is a lens at Hell). The dual trialer theory is real, and so are my feelings for my girlfriend. There is a couple based "buddy system" to this trialing thing, and yesterday shown me why. Only for ***her*** would I have put myself through another decade of this utter and abject suffering and misery. Everything makes sense to me now.......... .
I am still.....in shock though, but I feel hope.... . I pray for my girlfriend.
I need to help her awaken, rehabilitate (as I did), and remember.
I give thanks to my friends, my friends who are my family, for the chance to do this post. This post is the culmination of all of my efforts, all my sacrifices.