Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil
jagyggdrasil

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Lessons Learned Through The Lens Of Infinite Pain / The Purpose Of The Ark

The next pair of posts may be all that I can manage this month...... . Maybe even longer......., much longer..... . I am having grave heart issues in real life..., so it is what it is..... . Yea, I am kind of back to where I was on that emergency room table last year..... . I have no regrets. I prayed for the chance to look for anybody who may need help, and I was given that chance...(*sobs*).



Yea. No ER this time..... . No ambulance call this time. Just me, my Yggdrasil Elixir, and my will to live.

Yea, I need to apologize on here. I was not trying to be a fraud or phony....... .

Through the lens of infinite pain, and a heart event from whence I struggled to rise yesterday, the truth landed on me like a ton of bricks.. . I am married, and have been all along...... . All my abilities, all my feats, all my joy, all my hope, and my unending will to live...., were all just manifestations of a divinely ordained marriage that was vibrant, happy, healthy, and brimming with vitality. All that energy I wielded, all my stamina, was generated of and by a loving marriage...... . No DBZ yelling matches, no hax...... . No. A relationship....... . A relationship which divine beings smiled upon, agreed upon, blessed, and granted their limitless energy to sustain / support / protect. A relationship my very life apparently depends on (*gulps*).

A relationship was the reason why this trial was undertaken, and a relationship shall be the means to conclude it.... . That oncoming ark...., too, has the sole purpose of hosting some very serious relationship related discussions / events in the future..... . I am ready, I just hope I can sustain my heart in the meanwhile.... . Yea, my soul is in agony, and calling for the being I am destined to meet on that ark..... . And I realize now...it is time to strive for maturity..., for the being whom I utterly ***need***, and even share eternal bonds with, is suffering...just as much as I am right now. Maybe she has been suffering just as much as I am right now, for *years*.

I pray there is a chance for us to continue what we had...in our past.....aboard that oncoming ark. Whoever she is, and wherever she is, I shall be face to face with her aboard that sacred vessel.......so long as I survive these heart / cardiological issues.

*Prays*. (*Perceives blue floating eyes in my field of vision*).
Tags: eternal marriage, love, love is salvation, marriage, marriage is salvation, pain, relationship matters
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