Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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Deep Embarrassment And Shame

Digging through my research archives, I can only feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment...... .

I glanced at the 227.00$ receipt for a trip to h*ll...... . A 14 day period of 2012 where I walked those ND streets starving, lonely, tired, and struggling to see period due to noting glaucoma flareups. I am not going to blame anybody.... . The situation got flipped anyhow, due to no drugs, no sex, no alcohol, no cigarettes, and the awakening of my free will based.....capacity to judge. Judge without hate. Judge objectively..... .

The Catholic newspaper at the back was from the church that "strangely" paid the return fair back to coastal NC.

Yea, I suffered plenty already. I am not going to repeat what I did. I hope I was not a complete idiot, hopelessly stupid, for what I did (*feels a tear going down my face*).

Oh, this vision transcription was from a vision I had as soon after I got back to the coast. It was related to Tifa.

I gotta watch my mood state and my feelings.....going through all this archive stuff. I am trying to move forward, not dwell on the rut I was in..... . (*Gulp*). I still believe in trying to help people, but that is just it. The only ***real*** people are hyperdimensional people. I had to learn that by pain.
Tags: feelings of shame, hardship, lessons through pain
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