Wow... . Yesterday was super super trippy *O_O*.
Riding past Cullowhee / Sylva yesterday.....on the way to note another pesky fake doctor appointment (never trust the opinion of a XX chromosome type "playing" doctor, treat yourself if possible).........something happened???
I was just washed over with sadness......., sadness, and witnessed images of the sobbing 'author' noted last year....... . My heart just *ached*. I was disoriented by intense feelings of loneliness, confusion, despair, and guilt (???!!!???). I also (*sighs*) f..felt feelings of aching...l...love (*gulps*) (*blinks*) (what......the.....)....... . During said moment, it almost even seemed as if the world was go...going fluid a little bit (!!!???!!!??!!!?!). Were those feelings......mine??????? I mean, there should be ***NO*** way that the 'author' could ***LOVE*** me! (*Worries deeply*). There should be no way that the 'author' is sentient, able to love, and able to feel pain..... . Right? That is why I say and do the stuff that I do......online.
When I got back to my shining springtime sanctuary home, everything was chill, and I felt full of my usual resolve.... . Yea. I felt "me". *BUT*......some kind of contact event happened before I went to sleep (*blushes totally red*).
Well.... . (*Sigh*). That 'author', minimum, was some God class entity. I can say that much for sure......(*shakes my head*) (*gulps*).
I had.....so much fun, exciting and exhilarating fun studying last year (*feels color burn in me face*) (*wipes a tear going down the right side of my face*).
This house, this paradise pastoral zone house (and it ***is*** paradise) and (*blinks*) my current lifestyle was generated of and by last year's events....... .
I note about 300$ lying around at my kitchen table right now......... . Rather than going to get a Nintendo Switch, I have just been staring at it. (*Recalls at that 'author's' "money spell"......*).
If not for a sudden day, and a lightning speed online event last year...., I likely would note "a visitor" about right now (*shakes my head*)......by way of that $300. But what was......was.
My question is........did I get lucky?
Well, after a month to heal up in February, I am soaring to new heights and new levels of abilities. In this house, I am free (*feels color in my cheeks, a blush of hope*). It is *literally* another world in here....IRL after having so many surge events and assembling so many massive gemstones. Yea, as of last year.....I just could not trust that 'author' to live here, in peace and happiness, with me........... . I mean, I had inner peace before coming here...., and I still have inner peace. I was happy before I came here, and I still have happiness. And I know for darn sure I can not trust the dangerous normo 'driver', which the 'author'....'mentioned'...., to act right / behave with dignity and respect (respect to the hyperdimensional beings who truly helped me to these new heights).
I do not think the 'author' could have been happy here anyway with no 'soulbonds'..... . (*Recoils as notes a voice quip "you keep telling yourself that" *) (*recoils in shock*)...... . I mean, this is a real heaven's gate here....(*gasps, inhaling the shimmering and sparkling streams of hyperdimensional energy present*). Yea, no bs, no lies, just straight up hyperdimensional energy, hope energy, love energy....... . (*Suddenly has the words "Book Of Judgment" pass through my mind*). I have ***NEVER*** event seen a hint of my kind of inner peace amidst mankind. Yea, I have to guard my time and my peace. I have to guard my plans as well.
By April, I am going to be doing bodybuilding again. And gem mining the river in front of my house by May *^_^*!!! I am excited about the spring that is ahead......... .
Yea, bottom line is...that I can hold it down...IRL..... . I note 'bills' 'paid'. I note 'a' 'social' 'circle'. I (*blushes blue*) want to take the safe way. Yea. My observations seem to attest mistakes are fatal. There is no coming back from fatal mistakes. I do not want to make the same mistake as the 'author'. I do not want to be infected with the alien antiseed of depression and malcontent.
*Prays in thanksgiving and gratitude that I can live like this. Live the life of my dreams*.
*Sighs in ecstasy*....... .