*Clutches my chest*.
I have not taken my heart medicine for a while....(for some reason).
Yesterday I played my mandolin all afternoon on the front porch. I had to call it an evening with no cooked dinner though due to heart strain though *^_^*.
As such I made a midnight snack.
Hmmmm. Do I need an assistant? (*Thinks*).
Hmmmm.... . Then again, I can not risk the peace levels in this house. This house is truly like paradise. There is no drama here...... . There are no demons here. The atmosphere is bubbly, sunny, and happy *^_^*. Money can not buy that, that peace. That contentment. The atmosphere in here *glows*, glows with love and peace, and hands down has the highest mana levels on this planet.
Yea. I should probably keep training until I either cause a permanent fluid reality event, or reach the point where I can permanently move to Japan IRL via IRL abilities.......or even a continental sized *STARSHIP* IRL via IRL abilities.
Yea, I am just going to have to "suck it up" and not project.
Yea. What makes me seem truly "rare", to my observations, is my capacity to stand on my own, and be happy. Happy, and grateful to be alive. While I love Dawn, and while I love Tori, I did not expect to have friends, have family. I did not expect love from anybody. I did not expect, nor consider myself 'entitled' to anybody's time, friendship, love, or respect. Even so, even *then*, I was happy, happy and full of hope for the future. I loved and savored the chance to be alive. There was no 'void' within me (hence why I never needed religions, drugs, sex, alcohol, roleplaying).... .
Yea. I need to "suck it up", just admit...just like I did last Autumn, that I have ***NO*** innate clue, no innate understanding, no innate knowledge, no innate idea.......what unbelievably terrifying , crippling, and alien limitations a man 'brings'. I need to admit that I have no innate clue as to the unspeakable and unfathomable drama....a man needlessly 'brings'. Noting a man at this house would be like noting "Pandora's Box" opened at a naive toddler's nursery room. (*Shakes my head*). I have been naive, and projecting based upon my own life experiences (my own feelings of endless hope and inner happiness) for decades.
(*Noted a deep and transformative epiphany flash across my mind like a bolt of cosmic lightning*).
Yea. Heaven is a spirit, a "vibe"....carried in the hearts of a hyperdimensional being. (*Recalls the blue place event*).
The spirit of heaven is carried within, and like a flame warms the environment around it, the spirit of heaven has an effect on every layer of reality, space, time, matter, and energy. (*Understands Wings Of Love and The Yggdrasil Effect in a sudden and new manner*).
Heh, wow, this post is the literal effect of a midnight meal made with happiness......*^_^*.
Yea, I need to understand that I am different, different because I am happy, and have my own culture and ideas.
(I'll do another post about DL notation stuff. I got swept up in post-meal epiphanies).