Since when has this ever happened....within the recent times?
Alright.... . Confession time..... .
What didn't I bring to Japan, and for XIV nights no less??? (*Gulps*).
A mobile shrine unit loaded with G*rnets, S*pphires, R*bies, T*paz, S*ll*manite, Ky*nite, Qu*rtz, and more. A heavy dose of G*ld, Pl*tinum, and S*lver......to drink. Bodily systems fortified by months, even years of Nootropics. My gosh, I even noted cash to note expensive 'hotels' every dang on night....... .
Everything in regard to logistics, all in all, went as smooth as butter. Meticulous planning bore delicious fruit.
Why did it all culminate (on night XIV) to a space-time event that had me witnessing Finky??? ***AGAIN***. (*Recalls the event from VII years prior*). (*Recalls at that powerful dragon*).
Yea, a 'quivering' Finky that (???)......'shook'....., sobbed, and claimed at being traumatized.......O_O. A Finky that probably did not even have bladder control......(*shakes head*).
I swear, it took everything I think I have to ***NOT*** 'lose' myself to pointless violence...and pointless rage......during that event.
Me? I'm not even trying to blame Finky here.....when it comes to my shock about the event. What was up with that? Why did I keep talking about how "hurt" I was from last year.....(*facepalms*)? And why was I asking for advice on whether or not I should blast at the then defenseless Finky? What was up with that event......destiny? What was up with me? What was going on...........?
I did ***NOT*** train all this long, dig...up by hand.....all the precious gemstones taken on that trip, drink all that G*ld.......Pl*tinum.....and S*lver......(*gulps*), and do all of that meticulous planning........expecting nor aiming for ***ANY*** of that.
Why did my closing event quake series.....and energy wave event get put on hold for ***THAT***.
And why was I lovingly greeted back by the hyperdimensional Dawn, *just* like after the last trip (after that dragon witnessing event) only to have the meeting events....suddenly fade.......perhaps as soon as I voiced any judging words at Finky.........?
(*Shakes my head*). It looks ***VERY*** likely the dual trial scenario is true, but....but...I just CAN'T believe......any 'suggestion' Finky could be or could have been...a..a...a.....soulmate to me....(*blinks*). I mean, in subanime terms, Finky was a 'keeper'........... . A 2010's 'American' 'culture' 'standards'.....'total' 'package'...... . Yea. But me? I was not even looking for dating. I was celibate. I was on a mission, a mission that was proven *right*, *necessary*, and *valid*.
My happiness is in the safety and wellbeing of true innocents, celestial kids from the homeland. Not 'dating'. I mean........of course I was not impressed. From what I could tell (via many senses and much research), Finky was one of those that could not think freely..., had no impulse control, ...and was a slave to 'genetics' and the ego that comes with it. But me??? All I knew, was trying to hone myself to be the ultimate in any and all I ever did....as a service to / for those I care about and love. ***THAT*** is / was what I knew love as, not that fickle dating stuff that never even amounted to anything for Finky........ .
Well the question now is.........what next?
Me? I am going to pray for the homeland, and those who I have sworn to protect.
I pray for an answer, and the chance to embark on the path that leads to progress.
Yea. And, whatever the case is, I have ***not*** seen any sign of Finky having the guts to face me............ . Not even verbally. ('Which' doesn't really make sense to me). I did not even note an argument.............. . Might even note the 'kid' stuck in some place, 'dutifully' swallowing the alpha male shrink's / con man's psychiatric pills, and with no internet access.
(*Shakes my head*).
All that traveling, all of that....just to witness Finky again. I'm in shock! (*Groans*). I mean....what the........ . Ulgh.
If there is another trialer, maybe they are...uh.....in a country I haven't been to yet? (*Shakes my head*). Lol. In Africa maybe??? (*Groans*).
Seriously though, if there is a traumatized person...., figuratively speaking, how do you help them? How do you comfort them? Or is time.....the answer?
(*Groans and sinks back into bed and under the blankets*).