Yea. Remember that post about me noting a dude's 'property' 'returned'? Well, since I did not want 'teh' 'weapon' 'legally' 'transferred', I have noted him (!?!) talk about investing in 2,000$ of g*m polishing / g*m cutting machinery and g*m m*ning equipment (!!!!!)..to the sh*p in town. I tried to get to bed early yesterday.
Well.....(*gulps*), I found myself (!!!) washed over by an ***eerie*** wave of deep anxiety...through the night. Anxiety and shock the likes of which I have not felt since I witnessed '2016'. Come dimension diving time, I also observed an eerie texture....in regard to the energy. I mean....where was Starry Maiden? And why did everything / the mood seem.....so..quiet and somber?
Have my posts been read again....? Read again....by....her.....?
Is this anxiety.....from....h...her????
If it is, and if she has been reading my journal again, I will tend to matters around town early today, get back, and dimension dive / fluidify the world....so I can go try to....comfort, and console her.. . (*Feels my toenails glowing in an intrigued manner*). I need to get her mood bsck up (*gasps as I feel a kiss as I type*).
I must admit I am quite perplexed.
I did not intend harm...yesterday.
Me? I have the lifestyle pattern that is feline by nature? So long as the people I care about art safe and well, it seems and feels like I can ***THRIVE*** in the field....by myself for extended periods. The way I even try to show love (*thinks of my celibacy pledge*) is by trying to give space, respectful distance, to those I care about. Any loneliness that ***I*** ever feel....is a response at 'alien' '/' 'loveless' '/' 'exodimensional' 'entities'.
*Does some quick reading*.
Me? I am an explorer, a scout, a researcher. (*Stretches*). Any attention I ever receive from others is unexpected? I do not even go looking for it? Me? Looks like I can thrive in peer contact involving social situations...., or by myself in the field. (*Thinks about that soft-eyed white wolf....girl seen recently*).
........ . So....it may be that she wants and needs social contact every day....? Conversation every....day? Does she even need that now...???? (*Unexpectedly chuckles in a mystified amnner*). I can try to do such, whether it comes to the ship.....or even here now.
But I must admit, I have no clue about any of that "feeling" "wanted" stuff... . The whole reason I ever sought a ship.....before even finding about the dual trial scenario, was so I could be a state of ultimate solitude....and self-contained bliss. Yes, comfortably (infinitrly) distanced at the ones ('mankind') that 'disturb' 'at' that bliss. Me? I wanted a ship so I could ***WORK*** in bliss....; yes, do work, and strive to develop / hone / and maintain skills.
What is my idea of friendship you ask? For me when I initially met Starry Maiden......., my idea of friendship is and was sharing the bliss and happiness I already experience...., not 'creating' happiness..... .
Not trying to sound like a 'jerk', but it's a good thing white wolfy true F*nr*sS**r is so cute. Cute, petite, and huggable. If it is like it seems, I will just try to meet up with her regularly (via dimension diving and fluid world events), hug her, and sit and chat with her..... . She likes that..., hugs (physical contact) and talking (verbal contact) and stuff. Maybe she needs that stuff? And as far as the starship goes, if she seeks and takes her true and incredibly cute form (with that puffy soft furry looking luminous white hair) onboard it....maybe I can do the same...there too....(*felt a caress to my hair*) (never expected nor even considered....me hugging anybody.......on a starship)...... .