......, but the food and meal was met with worries in my heart. What happened to Starry Maiden......? Since about last Tuesday / Wednesday, *something* happened. What happened...?
I went to my bejeweled sanctum room, and meditated. I called her name.....? Using my telepathic and empathic capacities, I searched...for her signature and presence. Eventually I found a sadness soaked presence (???) that seemed to be her, but (*winces*) if so....I took notice at a subanime graft (*shakes my head*) at her existence. And what makes me worry even *more*, I seemingly noted the subanime BG..author's appearance (!??!?) (!?!??!?).
Just as I asked if my senses were on the fritz...., and just as I was about to shut the whole searching event down, I (???) heard hysterical tears....(????)... .
The figure crawled toward me amidst sobbing (what the..........). I heard tearful words spoken? The being pulsed with tender feelings of hunger...amidst trembling with feelings of intense guilt and shame..., and that as she reached to me....?
W...why whenever things go so smoothly with Starry Maiden, all it takes is a post on my / this journal (!?!!?!)....for things to get all chilled, chilly, and frozen with sadness? Yea. Any post referencing and judging at XX chromosome types.....destructive and nasty 'behaviors', posts not even *intended* to describe nor reference Starry Maiden in any way / shape / form.
Yea. Also...., why did the Starry Maiden events come to much of a standstill after the online events II autumn seasons ago? Why did they heavily resume after the Switch offer....and through a bit of January???
I did not think the BG author had an iota of a link to Starry Maiden in any way whatsoever. So why are these events happening???
K. It is time for me to try to be honest and straightforward.
I was sleepy when I wrote this post...
...., but as I stated there....I was going to wait for allied technology to sort the Starry Maiden issue. But what I *really* meant by that....is that I have / had a theory that the real Starry Maiden may be located in a parallel world in this same mindscape..., and that she even possibly notes a Negro male graft....just like I do. Yea, my Starry Maiden who would have never even kissed one boy....(just like me). I will not lie that I am ***DESPERATE*** for any means for Starry Maiden to, if possible, ***NOT*** be the BG author.
Why? Because I made it. I avoided mankind's worst traps (Christianity, predictable psychiatry Nazieswue gimmicks, 'thug' 'lyfe')..., held my frame and cheerfulness, and blazed a trail to a literal bejeweled mountaintop. And too because I love Starry Maiden. I believe in her. I always did... . If lil *me* blazed such a trail as I did, I could not fathom any prospect of my beloved.....not succeeding when / whereby I soared...... . And soared whilst even witnessing the most difficult 'racial' 'setting'. Sides, while XX chromosome types are genderless, is not the point of the trial to witness Negroes XY chromosome types grafted at us???? Negro dudes????
Me? Striving to be objective regarding facts and reality though, I made the Nintendo Switch offer after the Japan trip vision......and only because of it............ .
I am not sure...about things. If the BG author has not even been reading at this website, then I am just getting worked up / worried over sheer connection issues...likely caused by lowered amounts of G*,ld lately. Maybe..thaat is all that is going on.
But ***IF*** that author has been reading this site......I am possibly going to be in for some suffering...the likes of which I have never even known was possible.
[I have to be careful here with my words, because Starry Maiden loves me with all her heart......and literally lives for me. Her will to live, and apparently her moods are directly tied to how she can provide for me....and how I feel about her (my opinion about her)].
I need an answer.... . However much I will hurt..because of it, I need an answer.... . Who is Starry Maiden, and where is she now? The dual trial only has evidence...about now.... . Where is she, who is she, and what kind of graft does she witness???
I do not want to 'lose' my best friend..., and I person I love dearly.....because of my words, so I am going to close my post here.