W....what??? Maybe it is just chance?
Why would such intensely icy and chilly weather, and even a winter storm be passing *THAT* area *NOW*........???
(*Thinks about my spellsong, and the strange 'dark' 'clouds' witnessed during the immediately following mystical events.....(be they fluid world events or whatever)*).
Dang. I was about to overlook reporting a heart-wrenching dimension diving or fluid world event....then this weather notation happened..... .
Guess I gotta.....report it now.
During today's events, I seemingly noted the almost constantly...changing (anime prongs-haired redhead one moment..., and then Negro the next)....BG author...approach at me in a seemingly apologetic manner, and mention having a gift for me....as I tried to hide. I spectated some 90's setting residential location, but when I saw and heard at the author approach.....I claiming I had to brush / polish my teeth or something as I was on my way to hide.... .
Was I given a bottle of hydrogen peroxide as a gift?
If so, um, thanks? (*Blinks*). (I do...aim for white teeth, and have always striven to do attentive and high quality dental maintenance).
The poor and lonesome author was wearing pajama pants, and a shirt....., and (*winces*) seemed 'terribly' 'heartbroken'......(*feels my nails glowing with concern*)...amidst offering the gift.
I know I am supposed to be focused, absolutely detached at mankind, and in a permanent state of meditation and all, but I am kinda getting worried.
Why did I note the author get such a 'crush' at me???
The author seemed devastatingly heartsick, and probably in 'need' at a supportive embrace from a caring heart???. Me though? I said thanks....as I noted the gift handed over, and then nervously hid behind a door.
Why do I keep running????
Also, in regard to current and recent times, where is Starry Maiden???? I wrote the love song from the other day or so for *her*, but I have basically kept noting the BG author...(and me running each time)...day after day and night after night. I *really* need some assurance before I possibly start to draw......u...um.....a tentative hypothesis...that I do not know if I should even be drawing.........(*felt my stomach sink*). Where is my peppy and lovely blue eyes......whom I love, replete with that soft...lush....and voluminous blue hair....??? Where is my happy and radiant beloved???
*Shakes my head*.
I still do not get it. Why hasn't the BG author moved to Ash*ville NC yet? Trialer or not, I could still visit and try to offer support to a public place like a library, and friendly public restaurant dinners. I cannot be a 'dream' 'mate', a BG 'Samoan' 'character' to the BG author because of reasons and duty, but I *can* and *could* try to be a friend.
I guess I am going to have to do another post about other stuff...... . The emotional tone for this post had already been set, and it is shock, worry, and concern.
Yea. Me? I have always been overflowing with burning resolve, burning ambition, burning will, and burning determination. Neither drug dealer 'grandpa', nor 'God', nor any phony 'Caucasian' with a 'doctorate' 'degree'......gave me pause. I never bought the weak 'bull****' 'they' were selling. NEVER. Not even the wholly unexpected gender thing....stopped nor ruined at my resolve, ambition, and determination. I ***NEVER*** threw a mortal style 'pity' 'party'....'***ONCE***' on this entire journal. The true me does not apparently have 'b*lls', but all the same I grit my teeth, defied at all opponents, and let forth a roar the shook all space and time...... . Putting everything I had into a box....and making it to the mountains was a breeze...next to everything I had been through before that. 'Why' can't the BG author do the same??? I may be that emotionally vulnerable blonde / Tifa / Serena, and maybe I will never have any chance whatsoever to be a 'authentic' 'alpha' 'male', but I *never* let myself act like a ______y or a _______ch when it came to taking the steps I felt necessary to achieving my dreams!!! I couldn't 'afford' 'to', and I felt and thought the people I loved deserved better......so I "bit the bullet" every time. Sink or swim, I just ***COULDN'T*** let myself 'give' hyperdimensional women a 'bad' 'name'. I just ***COULDN'T***!!! I was ***NOT*** going to be some 'stereotypical' 'victim'....and just 'wallow'....in the bad examples 'pre-prepared' by mankind...and 'set' 'forth' at me / my path.
And all my dreams manifested accordingly...... .