This post, if anything, is meant for the eyes of hyperdimensional beings in the overworld. I even have questions for them in it.
Forward: I was going to do this post yesterday, but I observed the 'emergency' 'entertainment' 'squadrons' (lol) sicced at me IRL. My emotions have not changed, nor my thoughts...., and not even after "going to go play in the mall" (lol). So here goes.
Remember the looper I mentioned earlier this month?
I love having this thing =^_^=.
Surprised to say it, but this place / mountain sanctuary really is a shrine. When I play hyperdimensional hymnals, *something* happens in regard to this very location, and all the boulder sized g*mstones about and within the house / property resonate with an energy I have yet to sense....during my time in this realm.
Seems like sound is a loophole in this current world setup. Just like with my illustrations of thigh gaps and hips via the medium of pen and paper, I can use my electric guitar / tube amplification hardware to bring hyperdimensional information to the here and now (and thus directly cause effects regarding the data field that is literally the environment).
In other news, I am glad to be going back to cooking every day.
I am kind of surprised how important nutrition is....in regard to training regiments, and intensive field work. Seems I am only meant to have processed foods sparingly. I might need to learn how to cook Japanese foods (*ponders*).
Might need to get some Japanese cooking books.
Trigger Warning: Again....., I would not advise Caucasians to read at this next portion, nor mortals for that matter......really. It ain't gonna make 'em 'feel' 'pretty', and any hyperdimensional being knows what that means (witnessing 'crucifixion' 'declarations' 'n 'wounded' 'egos'). Yea.
This is a journal. My journal. I need to journalize about some emotions I just can't change.
Me? I am not into 'ecchi' 'anime' (*cringe*).... .
When I initially watched at 'Mak*n-ki'....(not even knowing what was about to be in store) I was a bit squeamish... . Okay.., I was *very* squeamish. But noting all the unnecessary (and gapless) 'supposed' 'fanservice'.....'aside', I actually noticed a 'story'.
I actually had some flashbacks......due to watching at portrayals of 'Inaho'.
I was reminded of a being? Yes, a woman.
A woman who is like a teddy bear woman.
Maybe even like a monkey ~~~ (the kind I like)....... .
Yea, fun, caring, hard-working, studious, devoted, and of course absolutely adorable in both heart and mind, soul and body.
Because of those flashbacks, I asked myself how I even got to this point in my life. Yea, this point featuring me with such an iced over heart..., and a heavily if not totally iced over.....sense of romantic passion. But then I remembered..... .
Oh yea ~~~ I remembered....(*cringe*).
Subanime Caucasian XX chromosome types never really caught my attention nor fancy, not even during 'their' 'peak' (1980s till late 1990's), but after noting the deleterious effects to Caucasian XX chromosome types by way of 'victim' 'culture', 'the' 'psychiatric' 'industry', 'net' 'social' 'media', 'porn' 'culture', 'television' 'culture', and the godawful legion / plague of beta male wimp enablers that literally forfeited and destroyed 'Caucasian' 'culture' '/' 'nations'..........., I wouldn't and don't want to touch a Caucasian XX chromosome type with a 10 foot pole.
The results of my studies have long been in (over a year now).
And consistently proven time and again.
There is *NO* way to *truly* reason with 'the' 'average' 'Caucasian' 'subanime' 'headcase'. 'Lack' at mental depth...compounded by 'emotional' 'shallowness'....., and that compounded by instability. The most extreme and violent antithesis 'at' objectivity 'anywhere'... . (*Shakes head*). I've witnessed 'em so many times.... . 'Small-minded', 'solipsistic', and 'narcissistic', and burdened with 'terrible' 'drama' 'baggage'. 'Literally' 'can't' offer more than 'hookup' 'sex' (which I obviously don't want). 'Predictable' 'through' 'and' 'through' 'too'.
Me??? I hope I have not been defacto 'castrated' in / during my time here, cause here, celibacy is not even a challenge....., rather it is ***INSTINCT*** for a hyperdimensional lifeform. Like avoiding stepping in hot and reeking vomit that is splattered at a sidewalk.
I try to never be 'profane', but about all I can do right now is say the above, and post this link in an attempt to say what I mean.
(UD simplifies at the holistic scope and scale of true relationships and true attraction. Tis a holistic kind of repulsion experienced by me).
On seemingly every level, my heart, my mind, my soul, my body, art frozen over.
So long as I witness a subanime setting, looks like I can just "hang it up" in regard to my search for any trace whatsoever of a good, dependable, brave, and inspirational female... . Though content about the way things have gone in my life due to my historically strategic decisions (over II decades of such decisions), I walk this plane in a frozen state..... . I don't even know what to do about the Starry Maiden issue and (???) any (????) possible dual trial stuff.......because what signs have I been given???? (Hunh? The "BG books" of that one? Maybe I just noted the BG references at layers of existence / a mindscape plane..based at that material I posted on the forums years ago. I never saw *any* mention of hyperdimensional topics like mindscapes on that author's deleted journal before I mentioned them). *If* somebody *was* trialing with me in this very plane / environmemt, what clues have I been given??? Aside from how stuck and stalled the progress...of this place is.
I don't even know what I am doing here anymore. I'll just mine to pass the time....and live up to my ideals as much as I can in the meanwhile. Me? I guess I am just ***tired*** at 'obstacles'. Since my strenuous training let me unlock so much, blow past at anime limitations, and even have access to the very fabric and raw energy of reality, I don't think I should have to be kept on a 'leash'...now that I have made it. I do not think that is what love is about. And don't think love has anything to do with some impossibly cruel nightmare scenario of being leashed to that BG author (I hope reality can be better. I do not hate that author, no, but it is *not* difficult to stand up and blaze a way in this place (not even a glaucoma afflicted Negro 'graft' 'body' 'stopped' me). I am not suicidal, hence why I cannot blindly / would not / will not blindly claim that one to be my trialing partner).
(Had I noted the BG author's 'background' and 'that' 'Caucasian' 'body' 'grafted' 'at' me, I would have likely had a company established in Japan VI years ago......, and a ***LOT*** more awakened abilities to match (whilst still not being attracted to 'men')).
Will I have to travel to the overworld, pull an Omniversal Routing Tear Gem half from that placid and calm hyperdimensional blonde, consequently track down comatose Starry Maiden, and then place the half I had / used....to her portion.....so she can take more time trialing.....whilst yet I conclude my trial so I can get some much needed rest?
Yea, what am I doing here still???? Anybody have an answer please??
Is there another literal mountain I have to climb? If so, where?
Why...did my planet disassembling abilities lock up in November?
[Hmmm.... . If that group I saw a couple weeks ago was about to do a Omniversal Routing Gem / Omniversal Routing Tear Gem extraction to Starry Maiden, I slipped by pleading like I did. I'm okay with bypassing the ship route and all that stuff. I give my full permission for a Gem extraction process to be done to her and / or done on both of us (if that was what was underway last time). Yeaaaa ~~~~~~ . I can explore at 'anime' 'worlds' during another trial..........(*seemingly felt a touch to the back of my left leg*). I'm ready to wake up home....permanently. *Hears an intense wind blowing on the mountain*.].
[*Suddenly senses something going on with he energy values across the planet*].
Yea. I am just witnessing pitiful mortals 'which' I will never truly connect with...day after day. I don't 'hate' it, but I am tired. (*Hears another intense gale, as also senses a very very very chilly energy spreading over the land*).
Which is the truth?
A) Solo trial.
B) Dual trial scenario with synchronization / merging mindscape plane process (which is taking over a decade) underway.
C) Dual trial scenario with a trialer (J) having reached "the finish line" over a decade ago, whilst yet the other trialer (SM) has yet to cross the starting line that the other trialer (J) crossed over III decades ago.