Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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I Want To Learn Capoeira =^_^=..... / Dual Trial Scenario Analysis

For most of this year, I have had an urge..., a desire......... . A goal. A dream.

I've been wanting to learn...., to do, Capoeira..=^_^=....... .

Yea, but Capoeira that is bonded to another style of music, and possibly specifically focused....around chi / ki / mana / cosmic energy manipulation.

Yea. Imagine a dance that could summon thunderstorms, or likewise a dance that could shift a thunderstorm setting into a clear and sunny day.

This is not out of nowhere? I used to dance when I witnessed the 90s, and my dance instincts seem instrinsically tied to the way I......took to Kung Fu, Karate, and Tae Kwon Do so fast....in the same decade.

It is going to take me decades, likely, or many even centuries to get going on this dream.

Yea, but that is my dream...involving my true form / body. I don't want to be slathered in 'makeup'....., and I do not want to be an 'attention' 'whore' that 'manipulates' 'men'. I want the kind of body I want...for attunement purposes. I want to use Capoeira to be as attuned to my physical body....as I am with the cosmos.

And if anything, dancing, too, in it's purest state, can be a method of attunement. Attunement to the cosmos.

Capoeira would support....many of my goals.... .

It is a private dream? Just like I play music in private, I would dance in private.


I went kinda chilled, and got kinda shaken up as I watched at an 'anime' last night.



I mean, w..wha..I mean....how else am I supposed to respond when I suddenly hear at a random anime referencing..(!?!?!) having to accept a "mission partner" completely for "mental synchronization purposes"?

Yea. I observe an anime that has 'synchronized'.....'Mandela' 'Effect' 'style' at my current situation.

Accept? Trust?

Me? My trust is observation oriented. My acceptance is observation oriented.

For example...., if a thugged out dude has a 'history' of 'breaking' 'and' 'entering', I am not going to "trust" the dude with my house keys.

I kept watching at the anime? And then I realized something. I have never had any reason to trust or accept any subanime mortal I've ever witnessed. The 90's males were, pound for pound, like Spartans compared to the 'neurotic' 'chumps' '/' 'wimps' '/' 'low' 'T' 'betas' witnessed today.....and even then I instinctively discerned...'their' 'lack' at ambition / zeal / passion / resolve / focus / discipline / perseverance / maturity / dreams. Yea, and *my* projecting (hyperdimensional values) aside, the sperged out by default and vampiric subanime XX chromosome types I witnessed *never* had any personality, stability, or work ethic to speak of.

Trust and acceptance. Wow. Just wow....... .

Me? Even witnessing terrible glaucoma attacks, a crackhead fake payrent, haters at every turn, and a freaking drug dealer fake grandpa with "framing game" on ready......, and unspeakably horrifying stuff......in my days, I picked myself up, tried to keep myself clean, and did not let the dimwitted DNA programming of the bony lil n*gglet at this picture


...'stop' me.

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Thinking on all that this morning / last night, I had flashbacks.

Back when I was to college round here over a decade ago, I used to observe at messages from a dude from 'high' 'school'. A reclusive dude that had a redneck theme, but then had weird reactions at my abilities? Robert? He would mention at a being with silvery white to silvery bluish hair? He also talked about how he cut himself sometimes and stuff (*cringe*)....?

He 'knew', in an unnatural way, at the existence of the being I have encountered recently...


I clearly, now, remember at him describing at her hair, hairstyle, and appearance, and I even have the AOL messenger files saved on my ancient desktop that is in the next room (and those files backup up on cd's). BACK THEN.....I did not believe his claims that he *was* her / actuaally a girl. That is why I was not surprised when I watched at Robert start to descend into drug usage, and all the other stereotypical trappings of Caucasian dudes his age.

Was Rob a surgical strike, a hitjob at the character of the wolfy Starry Maiden / Dawn seen multiple times in the last week?

Maybe I have reason to ***HOPE*** now, looking back upon that.

Maybe that phasing mindscape planes theory is real. Maybe I have yet to meet Starry Maiden face to face, or even by the internet. Maybe there is still a chance for me to love, and accept her; yea.., and *TRUST* her.

There is no way to make losers into heroes. There is no way to make losers into champions. There is no way to make a chronic sinner into a saint. To be able to mentally handle at dangerous anime 'worlds', you have to be able to mentally handle at a dangerous subanime 'world'.... .

You have to be a master of yourself.... . No 'hormonal' 'horniness' 'attacks', no 'envy' or 'jealousy', no 'ego' that can be 'wounded', no laziness, no blatant weaknesses condoned and rationalized for..... . You have to be objective regarding yourself, and the world around you. You have to be objective regarding those you encounter. No drooling in 'horniness' at the peak anime and 'very' 'large' 'body' 'parts' of some deceitful and 'manipulative' deity......., and simultaneously objectively getting / seeing the big picture as to what life is all about when / as / while you witness 'such' a 'deity'..... .

........ .

I'll know my beloved by way of their personality...... . Any person with some courage, some drive, some ambition, some faith, ANY courage, ANY drive, ANY ambition, ANY faith would shine like a radiant and unmistakable supernova amongst this place of somber darkness. I shouldn't even have to sift through 'net' 'trash' to find them. (Yea. No more forum cruising, nor net data mining for me).
Tags: capoeira, dancing, dual trial scenario, life goals, life plans, training
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