Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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What Was I Thinking / Admitting Projection / The Wall / Catharsis



I witnessed 'something' 'disgusting' last night, and underwent a deep state of catharsis as a result.

Yea. Witnessing 'Howard' 'Stern's' 'Butt' 'Bongo' 'Fiesta' caused a torrent of shame to explode forth from within me....... . The deepest shame. Shame which 'irredeemable' 'slutbeasts' 'obviously' 'can't' even feel. The same kind of shame felt whenever I witness 'Sailor' 'Moon' 'anime'.

I was filled with dread, never wanting an iota of commonality with 'things' 'so' 'disgusting', 'so' 'feeble-minded'. I understood it then, why my abilities had been *so* slow to awaken and shaky....... . Utter embarrassment paralyzed me, but I remembered my training..... .

Rather than chumping out, rather than rationalizing for the slutbeasts, I faced the issue.. .

I remembered that physiognomy is real, and I remembered my visions. Yea, and for each time I noted a 'disgusting' 'exhibitionism' 'display', I verily noted a 'flat' 'and' 'masculine' 'arse'....(just as I hypothesized would be the case). My shame eased accordingly. I also (*coughs*) took note that I was not aroused (*coughs*) in any sense of the word by 'the' 'sluts' 'in' 'the' 'video'. An epiphany dawned on me.

Slut culture, gaming culture, and anime culture....'were' horrific weaponized stopgaps.....'intended' to thwart at my development.

Yea. Fact is, my status can "transform". But it looks like the process occurs in gradients, meaning I would have to be stuck to noting sub anime level for a time, and then / or I would be stuck noting anime level for a time..... . Such events have happened in the past. Each time though, I would be overcome with shame, and thus be right back to noting a 'Negro' 'male'. Hmmmm.

About that though.... . Just because I witness a Negro male whenever I look into the mirror, doesn't and didn't mean I had to be a STD addled thug, rapist, and killer. So (*groans*) maybe if I were to note a sub anime ____________ _____ whenever I look into the mirror, I wouldn't have to be a mindless loser '/' slutbeast. Yea, and maybe I would, even then, have waaaay boosted abilities. Like boosted targeting capacities for my pyrokinetic and environmental manipulation abilities.

Well....I am going to have to do *something*. It is clear...anime isn't giving me *anything* to work with. Indeed, and the same can *certainly* be said at the sub anime level incarnation of mankind. Yea... . I need to shut down any attempts for internet diplomacy, and just stay hidden. I came onto the internet whilst projecting based upon ancient memories of actual living people who are part of a vibrant and healthy society, a truly perfect society. I have adapted though. I can't expect thug beasts, beta beasts, and slutbeasts to act like actual people (who have standards). I am still perplexed as to what I was even thinking....when I came on the internet looking for friends, peace, and inspirational people. Maybe I was just naive. Hmmmph..... . I'm embarrassed as I admit it, but all my struggling has been on me.... . During my Tokyo trip, and even my initial night to this...


hotel, I had the proverbial ball and then dropped it. I sat up, scared, panting, and covered in perspiration.....after a Serenity transformation event. All because I didn't want to be a loser. A pitiful slutbeast. I've got to hold mining, and try to work on myself for a while. I need to prove that my theorized physiological trinity system is what multiversally defines gender. I pray it is possible *prays*.
Tags: performance evaluation, physiognomy, physiognomy is real, self assessment
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