I am going to be undertaking my African Dream Root trial for the next III months. Why? I have to.... . I'm desperate..... .
Anime stinks. I had to experience the real world to make such a discernment. I had to train to make such a discernment. Anime is an antithesis at the real world....and the people therein. In seeking to see any semblance of beautiful women in my time here, I am left suffering....., *abjectly* suffering. Suffering and in pain. When I witness anime, I witness masculinized and androus facsimiles, hopelessly warped fascimiles at the concepts / existences that define femininity. Anime reduces at the nature of a woman, whereby substitutions, such as props and wardrobe, are fallaciously attributed at the core meaning of femininity.
Me??? I say this. This is a very very melancholy and anemic dream world, and I actually *awaken* to the *real* world when my body goes limp over here. *Blush*. And me??? My abilities are (*coughs*) stimulated...by seeing beautiful women. Women whom I can't find in anime. Women with gorgeous and curvy figures (*grins*). Women with *actual* *thigh* *gaps* that are somewhere near (or even exactly) the widths of their *waists*. Women with (*swoons*) slender waists and yet full and gorgeous behinds..... . Why??? Because physiognomy is real, and only those beings referenced above are *capable* *of* *love*. Love which I unexpectedly need (*blushes*). Friendship which I unexpectedly need...... . Every time I note a facsimile which lacks at those features, I note a hopeless and traumatizing emptiness 'that' 'manifests' 'at' the spiritual, the mental, the emotional levels. For example, the real Sailor Venus is very likely a legendary robotics engineer with her own private space fleet...rather than some impoverished and idiotic...embarrassing bimbo that sucks up to / @** kisses to....meaningless male celebrities. Yea, and she also has that *gorgeous* thigh gap proportion referenced above (which apparently may correlate to the presence of sacral region brain organs) (*feels my fingernails glowing in shock*).
My hands are up in the air... . What else can I do??? Where are the starships??? Where are the fun people??? Where are the intergalactic voyage opportunities??? Where are the mentally balanced and physically gorgeous women who live satisfied and inspirational lives???? Yea. I *literally* note torture when I note this place now....... . Now that I have tasted the literal (!!!) friendship energy, the infinitely sweet and nourishing...(literal) friendship energy and light of *real* and *actual* human life forms (*females*) (who just happen to be super beautiful, *awesomely* gorgeous), it is torture for me to witness mankind day after day. I have to do this to prove I am not 'in' 'hell', and if it works, it will still validate that I was indeed *witnessing* '*hell*'..... . I pray this works, and I give thanks for this chance to try for better.