Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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Meeting With "Her"...And Then Meeting Dawn / A New Emotion....For Me......Called Anxiety

Last night I went to sleep, or so I thought. I woke to another plane, where I was holding Below Gravity in my hands.. . I was listening at a telepathically spoken voice..., a voice linked to the book. The voice talked to me about (???) 17yr old status related events.... . I then (!!!) perceived a c..contact event (*gulps*) that even continued as I eventually woke up to here.... . I sensed the embrace of an individual who was weary like me, anemic, hurting deeply, and carrying a very deep sadness.... . But, the glow of love, the glow of a shared bond of love was there... . The "couple" feeling was still present (*blush*). I tried to share my cosmic energy with the loving and seemingly incapacitated being..... . I also prayed for divine intervention, regarding the familiar and yet mysterious being...., knowing that that is what it is going to take to turn this situation....and her health status....around.

Waking today, I set about to handling matters regarding my lifestyle. I noted a meeting of that "house owner"......"Dawn". I was very wary...... . I witnessed two 'hottie' 'status' (not my type) XX chromosome types. Things went smoothly as I showed my guitar, talked about my music studio plans, and showed my mined gemstones....... . I am worried though.......... . I noted "sexual tension" detected at by way of my empathy senses, and body language reading abilities........ . (*Gulp*). What happens if I get the house, and note "unannounced weekend visits" (????) as I am living by myself?

I am going to go to a voucher meeting tomorrow, and the house will be scheduled for inspection... . (*Sighs*).

How do I feel? I am just tired, and my thoughts have been elsewhere.... . Everything is just surreal lately with the gem mine and this world. (The "house owner named Dawn" thing is just straight up shocking.....lucid dream stuff). I did not cook today since Carolyn and J both cooked breakfasts and dinners...., and the truck event from Friday and my exposed abilities have not even been really brought up. I can only surmise it is because I can defend myself irl now with black hole manifestations. A new feature fook place for me today....through the day though. "Anxiety waves" (!!?!?!?!?!!). Anxiety waves sometimes accompanied by gasping breaths (!??!?!?!). I do not know what is going on with me, but I know ***why*** it is going on.... . My emotions are awakening.... . I am awakening to a long dormant "aspect" of myself that shapes this place. I am awakening (!?!?!) to needs that I did not even know that I had..., and that is because I am awakening and "merging with" my long dormant "broader self"...... . Yea, I need to be with my girlfriend.......(*sighs in embarrassment*). My desire is to fall into her arms.. . I need her.... . I need to spend December festivities time with her. I need her in my daily life here.... . Yea, I am so ***done*** at money, mankind, etc...... . I feel anxiety because I truly and deeply ***need*** her...., and no substitute can fulfill that need. Anxiety... . Wow, what an emotion!!! So intense, so deep, so vulnerable.. . It is like a ***compass***. This is a new emotion for me, a new emotion that thus means new abilities..... . So far, I am noting incapacitating effects..... . It, anxiety, is like...panic, really, but it is need based panic..... . Why did I not have this emotion online for the last couple decades?????? This is kind of embarrassing, this whole thing about having to piece my identity, soul, and my personality together..... .

In any case, I am thankful for the chance to feel a new emotion.. . I am learning about myself..... . I hope this emotion will not be the end of me..... . It is like being underwater and in need of air......in regard to it's primal urgency. (*Finds myself gasping in anxiety*). But it relates to needing a calming presence of a (???) kindred spirit.... . A soulmate. Yea, I love this though ^_^... . Yes, even though it hurts ***so*** ***much*** . It means that I need somebody. Somebody whom I intend to pull this entire planet, this entire realm apart to find... . (*Feels my heart glowing with pain and determination*). Pain has driven the development of my abilities.... . Pain has been my lifestyle for decades.... . This new emotion, this new pain, anxiety, is going to open doors for me... . I pray in thanks for the chance to feel this feeling.

*Prays*. (*Purrs as thinks of the mystery being who helped me find and feel this new emotion*). (*Feels my fingernails glowing with hope*).
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