Jag Yggdrasil (jagyggdrasil) wrote,
Jag Yggdrasil

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Heart Stuff Again

After mining for Sapphires, getting Below Gravity II and III, and amidst watching Destination Truth DVDs amidst a dinner I was invited to, I almost got an ambulance called on me (*winces*). It happened yesterday..... . My chest felt tight, I was dizzy, and it felt like I was struggling to get air...... . I also felt eerie tingling sensations through my arms... . I made up a cover reason for my departure, and staggered back to my place...... .

I felt pains in my chest back to my place, so I rested on my couch.

After reading through the river scenario of the book..Below Gravity, I took my Yggdrasil Elixir...... .

Yea, when I mentioned being with my girlfriend for Christmas, I did not know that that (???) could possibly mean me being a free roaming "spark".... in this place....after a decisive heart crisis event. Well, I feel peace and closure *^_^*. I love gem mining, I love exploring the mountains, but fact is, I'm just so lonely over here...... . Every day here, in my current pov, is just, too, a day of utter suffering. Back in January 2015 during that Code Blue heart event, it felt like I had some vital communication attempt to do.... . Maybe that task has been completed??? (*Thinks back to the last III months*)..... .

A tentative house move for November 1st has been set here, but I do not know if I will even see that day....in my current bodily pov.. . If a move happens, and if my grave heart issues deepen, my idea is to get my storage stuff from Raleigh.....and burn all of my research notes and illustrations. I then, if there is time, plan to burn my musical instruments also. Yea, that'll be over 12,000 pages of hand written information, and over 17,000 pages of typed information. Maybe I can bury my gemstones....... .

Yea. I want to protect the knowledge I struggled to find.... . (*Thinks about locking this journal, and Twitter*). I want to protect my legacy..... .

Yea. Fair is fair...(*feels my fingernails glowing with peace*) (*feels a tear of relaxation trickling my face*). Yep *^_^*. On that emergency room table last...year....as those zap paddles were being raced in, I pleaded for the chance and the time to find anybody, any innocent, who needed my help in this place..... . I was given that time, and I give thanks.

(*Wishes to dance to the above melody*). (*Feels wave flow sensations down my back, and now feels wings*). What will it be like for this agony consummate loneliness.....which I have, for the most part, carried for decades.....to be eased for the long term? (*Feels my fingernails glowing with hope and excitement*). (*Notes that the "Wishing On A Star" Thousand Arms theme....has been shifted since the last time I heard it*).
Tags: dreams, hope, wishes
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