I can not run from the truth.....(*feels my fingernails glowing with shame*)..... . That has been the lesson I have learned (*facepalms*)....., the lesson learned through this month of pain and heart issues.
Yea, and it is what it is.... . The dual trial scenario is just perfect. A perfect match. It is a perfect match to every situation of the past couple decades.... .
Back in 2003, this world was about to transform...... . In 2003, so many abilities clicked online for me. By October, the solar flares I had had a vision about (which may have been sent from the white / black expanse being) in 1999......were taking place..... . By Halloween night of 2003, I was literally arched / partially floating in my dormitory bed....with my hands reaching to the heavens as limitless amounts cosmic voltage just ***rocked*** my head's (lobed) brain.... . That event there, sealed my destiny in regard to my performance........ .
Yea, by even late 2003, this world was poised to transform....... . Transform to something radiant, and beyond anime. And by early 2004, there were events that involved visions, dimension dives, and also....most importantly (for my recovery's sake)..............events that made me face the facts about gender. By Spring 2004, I felt this world having gone fluid..... . But by Summer 2004, something happened..... . I felt a "snagging" sensation...., mana and vitality levels across this realm went down, down, down, and down. And (?????) although I still survived witnessing God's 2004 assault, this whole realm just went anemic...... . After my big 2010 Japan trip, and from 2011-2013 the same effect happened... .
Be it noting video games, or anime, or even overall technology levels, I have witnessed stagnancy since 2004. This world just "shut down", and went into an anemic "shell state"..... .
Everything suggests a ***very*** likely possibility of me, unexpectedly, having witnessed God blitz a (*feels a sorrowful touch to my left hand*) vicious surgical strike in 2004..at a "dual trialer" whom I share this realm with...... . (*Pauses, in shock and guilt*). (*Thinks about The Infiniversal Routing Tear Gem*).
(*Thinks about Below Gravity*). Hmmm.... . The fact that Below Gravity synchs up with the theme of "dual trialing"...., and this mentally generated environment, still has me shocked and mind blown. Also, why did I have to be contacted those months ago for me to even come up with the idea of dual trialing??? (*Feels my fingernails glowing with shock*). Also, how.., by all means..., could I have fallen in love...here..?!??!? *Suddenly hears a voice say "eyes that see the heart".....*. *Plants my face into my sleeping bag on my bed*.
I, we, may have to note my (??) dual trialing partner's memory wiped..... . Yea, and thus witness (*gulp*) "the 80's and 90's" again..... . Yea, if reestablished contact does not happen here within a couple months, that may be the only option here. I then, hopefully whilst retaining my current memories after the reset event, would live nearby my teamie. I would have to hold my tongue about the truth (amidst witnessing more fake payrents)...though, and try to be a best friend....and guardian to my teamie. I would have to give them nootropics to try to spark their VII brains online, and I would need to provide a nurturing environment with which to foster their initial megasurge event. (*Recalls my megasurge event of 2003*).
Yea... . *Sigh*. Dual trialing not only allows a lifesaving buddy system, it also serves to let each trialer of a team...know they are not crazy as they witness the worst exodimensional ghouls and the like.. . It is supposed to be beautiful..... . But on the flip side, it is like being chained........by bonds of care and love. I have already had a brief Infiniversal Routing Gem deactivation event. I have already had beyond anime bodily transformation events take place irl many times. I have even been on a starship irl... . I have even seen this planet disassembled... . Each time though, the being in that expanse is made known, and I am back to this place here....because ***that*** ***being*** needs me here. (*Thinks of this spiritual bond sensation...I feel...even now*). My gosh. So I really slipped up big last month???
Just like the gender thing in 2004, I had no clue this dual trialer stuff would happen...... . (*Recalls that 2001 map reset offer vision that took place recently*). (Maybe the expanse being wanted what I suggested above...when the 2001 reset offer was made). This is new ground for me..... . I...I pray for divine intervention for the sake of my friend. I pray for the data processing capacities necessary...to know what must be done....... .